Face the Music: A Life Exposed by Paul Stanley

I'm not just a member of Kiss.
I'm a member of the Kiss Army.

Paul Stanley has released his autobiography:

Despite his booking a steady string of ongoing media appearances to promote it, the book's release was overshadowed by the induction of Kiss into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, which finally happened last week.

The RRHOF has an odd policy of dictating to the band it's inducting which specific members it considers worthy for inclusion. Gene and Paul (quite rightly, from where I'm sitting) said they couldn't in good conscience reward such a ridiculous policy with a live performance, as it would be a dis to the other members of Kiss. Whereupon the web exploded with much vitriol. It was immediately perceived as yet another example of Gene and Paul depriving Ace and Peter of their due consideration.

I'm actually surprised people vented anger at Paul and Gene for this one. Shouldn't all the members, past and present, of the band being inducted be included in the band's induction? I mean, why on earth wouldn't they be? And why on earth would the Hall of Fame think they get to dictate anything like that to the actual band or their fans?

The day after induction, Paul referred to Jann Wenner et al as "spineless weasels," citing the inconsiderate treatment they received at the event.

I can understand some fans' disappointment at not seeing one last performance from the original members. But really, how many times have these four guys played "Rock and Roll All Nite?" Can anyone seriously be justified in feeling deprived of one more? Especially at the (at least metaphorical) expense of Eric Carr et al.? Say whatever you want about Tommy Thayer or Eric Singer or whomever (I do it all the time;) they all are or were legitimate members of the band. Acquiescing to the RRHOF's presumptuous demands does not seem a proper way of celebrating the band's legacy.

Regarding the "at Peter's and Ace expense" business: there are plenty of times where I've speculated about some shady behavior on Gene's or Paul's parts vis-a-vis their former bandmates, but it must be acknowledged that that road has also extended from the former to the latter just as often. How would Peter act, say, if the shoe were on the other foot? (Ace probably wouldn't give a crap.)

Anyway - they all had nice things to say about one another at the induction, which was nice to see. (And that intro by Tom Morello was pretty rock and roll.)

Morello is also in Flight 666, come to think of it, professing his love for Maiden. I guess he and I'd be fine taking turns with the tape deck on a road trip.

Paul's book (segue!) has some nice things to say about everyone - probably about the same amount as you find in Gene's, Peter's, or Ace's books - but when he's not being nice, he's really not being nice. Particularly about Peter. He unloads an awful lot on Peter, but - at least the way he tells it - this is all a long time in coming.

It's one thing to put up with somebody who's a virtuoso and a prick. It's quite another to put up with somebody who can barely play their instrument and is also a prick.

Zing! Fair? Maybe. The playing on the last couple of tours with the original members was indeed pretty shoddy on Peter's and Ace's parts. I will say: of the 4 books, this one definitely seems the most self-aware. Perhaps due to what Peter wrote in his book: "I guess that's what talking to your shrink four hours a day for 20 years gets you." He meant it as a swipe, but there's some truth in that. Paul is pretty candid about his own narcissism and insecurity and jealousy issues and seems to have emerged from it all to a happy place.

It clocks in at 462 pages, making it the longest of the Kiss bios. (I'm sure someone from Peter's camp will see that as an over-compensation.) I chuckled a few times at some of the things from other books (Paul's compulsive cock-doodling, the band's lawsuit against Polygram in the 80s, etc.) that weren't mentioned. (Paul even laments that the label "did fuck-all" for the band in the 80s; well, no kidding. You called them Nazi sympathizers and brought them to court.) Mainly, it was nice to finally read a history of the band from just Paul's point of view. It's a lot easier to see how things played out the way they did, now that I've done so.

Paul, then and now.

I've avoided reading any reviews of the book, so I honestly don't know what others have been saying about it. I imagine reactions have been minor variations of the same reviews for the other Kiss-books.

Did I learn anything new? For the most part, no, but I've been a fairly gluttonous consumer of Kiss product over the years and particularly over the past few months, looking stuff over for these blogs. I wasn't surprised, therefore, to discover he's got complicated feelings about his longtime friend and business partner.

(Gene's) being the default spokesman of the band would lead to countless more episodes of him using "I" instead of "we," subtly and not so subtly implying that he was the frontman, lead singer, and mastermind all wrapped up in one. He never attempted to clarify his role or refute media assumptions. Why would he? These false assumptions were based on Gene's own statements. I found myself scratching my head at his refusal to be honest.

But I was taken aback at the acuity of some of his insights into Gene and was happy to see some of my impressions reflected back at me.

Anyone can write a song in 5 minutes. The difference is since we had a record deal, Gene got to put his songs on an album, whether or not they were any good. (In the 80s) Gene denied his subpar and often nonexistent contributions to the group. (...) He was clearly going to do whatever he wanted to do, regardless of any objections from me or even his legal obligations under our partnership. (...) I had the choice of walking away or of doing the work of 2 people. The catch was that I had to share the credit, even if I did double the work.

Finally confronted about this during the Crazy Nights sessions, Gene owned up to his lack of involvement and professionalism and apologized by way of buying Paul a black Porsche. It can be seen in the "Reason To Live" video:

Which also features...

Eloise Broady, who married...

John Paul DeJoria, who took the place of Gene in Shark Tank when Gene passed on the show. (According to Gene, "the deal wasn't good enough." Whether this is true or just one of Gene's flights of fancy regarding his own business acumen, I have no idea.) All roads lead back to Kiss, is what I'm getting at.

I was apparently in error when I wrote in my review of Gene's book that he "was (and remains) the driving force behind Kiss's merchandising." According to Paul, this isn't even remotely true.

Gene's most successful venture in business was promoting the perception that he was a savvy businessman. That has been an undeniable success.

Back to Gene's songwriting, a subject I can sometimes get cranky about:

I was annoyed that he saw himself as operating at a level that qualified him to pass judgment on me, particularly because I hadn't thought much of his songs. The idea that he was judging me seemed arrogant, condescending, and ludicrous. (He) wrote a lot of very odd songs. Maybe it was because he was originally from another country? I wasn't sure. He had one called "Stanley the Parrot" and another called "My Uncle Is a Raft." He even had one called "My Mother Is the Most Beautiful Woman in the World." Uh, okay, (I thought.) That's weird.

I kind of like "My Uncle Is a Raft" as a title. But what do I know? I once named a song "Johnny Cash Goes to the Bathroom."

All in all, as he notes several times, he and Gene laugh at each other's quirks now and accept that they're just different people and count their (considerable) blessings. Still, some resentments linger. Paul doesn't bother hiding his antipathy towards Gene in a recent Rolling Stone overview.

Kiss' only enduring relationship is between Simmons and Stanley. "We've always seen each other as brothers," Stanley says. "What we seem to be at odds at is how you treat your brother. Gene's priority, by far, has always been himself. And he's not one to let anyone else's feelings or contributions get in the way."

The same article contains some really amusing interaction between Gene and Billy Ray Cyrus. ("You got any Matzo?") It's worth reading in full.

What's more surprising is Paul's commentary on his and Eric Carr's relationship. I had no idea it was as ambivalent as it was. Eric's side of it will sadly never be known, but Paul relays long periods of bad communication and hurt feelings and confusion. And expresses some real regret about it:

In the wake of Eric's death, I continued to spend a lot of time wondering whether I had handled things correctly. Though I thought I had made the best choices at the time, I began to realize I'd been wrong. We had cut Eric off in perhaps the worst way, by denying him what mattered to him most - his place in Kiss. (...) I should have seen that, since the band functioned the same way for me, and I wasn't even sick. I should have known.

Paul's referring to his and Gene's decision to exclude Eric from Kiss activity during his chemo and recovery period. (Gene doesn't seem aware of any of this. Outside of relaying a couple of anecdotes about paying his hospital bills - no small thing, certainly - and banging his girlfriend, Gene, tellingly, experiences no such regret in his book.) It's easy to see how doing what one felt was only right in the situation (i.e. stay home and rest, Eric; we'll handle the tunes) could have such unintended consequences.

Less surprising than his feelings towards Gene and Eric are his feelings towards Peter and Ace. 

If I even attempted to corral Paul's many Peter-is-just-an-idiot stories into this blog, we'd be here all week. Suffice it to say, Paul must have really been pissed about Peter's book, particularly Peter's assertion that "on Paul's best day, he could never out-sing me." (My favorite of all of these anecdotes was during the reunion tour, when Ace missed rehearsal because (he claimed) he had Lyme Disease from a deer tick. That's bullshit, said Peter, "genius that he is," Ace has never been bitten by a deer.)

As for Ace

you get the usual mix of bemusement and exasperation at his antics:

He would go through all kinds of contortions (to get more prescription drugs.) He even managed to get a superficial gunshot wound in Dallas. (...) While I traveled with one rolling suitcase, Ace was now traveling with 17 bags, including one that weighed more than 100 pounds. In it was a projector and cables so he could run an image of his face and Elvis's face morphing into each other on a loop in his hotel room.

Elsewhere:

A Russian oligarch offered us $1m to play for about 300 people at his 30th birthday. Ace wouldn't do it. He thought the whole thing was a dastardly plot to get him out of the country so Gene, Doc, and I could have him assassinated. That way, we could replace him with no problem. (But actually) replacing him was easier than all that.

Kiss was bigger than any of the individuals. And I do not mean "except for me." I have a high regard for what I do, but I don't fool myself by thinking I'm the only one who can do it.

I found this very interesting. One, you'd never hear Gene say anything like that. Two, of all the guys who have ever been in the band, Paul is easily the least replaceable. I'm not sure anyone can really do what Paul Stanley does, if I'm being honest.

Maybe Lady Gaga. Maybe.

Incidentally, the look on Paul's face here is hilarious.

I do appreciate his point - and I'm very curious what will happen to the Kiss brand once Gene and Paul retire or die - but it's just kind of funny that the guy most responsible for the band's longevity, its principal musician and songwriter, and harshest critic, is capable of making this observation.

He addresses the controversy of using the Catman and Spaceman make-up for Eric and Tommy.

The idea that we would stop using any of the four iconic images was as ridiculous as the idea that we would stop playing any of the songs. Interestingly, years before, when we decided to try and buy the rights to the Catman and Spaceman images, Peter and Ace dealt their characters away as if they had no value. To them, they were mere bargaining chips. That they so readily relinquished them showed me how little they cared for them. I was glad those guys couldn't start turning up at Halloween conventions signing autographs in tattered Kiss costumes and makeup. I valued the images and wanted to protect them.

 

I've been pretty critical of this in the past, but what he says there is certainly understandable. And to be completely fair to Paul, he applies the same reasoning to Gene when the need arises:

(Gene's) use of the Kiss logo and make-up and his self-promotion in the press escalated in the 90s and beyond. (...) He was no marketing genius. He just took credit for things. (...) After the Farewell tour, I saw sketches of a concept for a cartoon series Gene had sold. The cartoon was basically Gene in Kiss makeup. It was about a guy in a band. Hey man, that's a Kiss entity, I said. (Gene denied it.) That got settled real quickly. Fairness prevailed, but not by Gene's volition. Beyond the anger I felt each time he showed such blatant disregard for our partnership, my feelings were also hurt that the guy with whom I'd built all of this would treat me - when it served his purposes - with the same indifference I often saw him exhibit with people I knew he didn't care about.

Beyond his feelings on the other members of the group, there's a whole lot about Paul's romantic misadventures. Not, admirably, in a self-aggrandizing way (though of course there's some of that; this is a Kiss-related project, after all. Live! To! Win!) But he (and ghost-writer Tim Mohr of course) combine it all pretty well with the book's themes of self-discovery and overcoming the childhood insecurities resulting from lack of parental affection (that old chestnut) and his deafness/ ear deformity (since surgically corrected) that prevented him from meaningful interpersonal relationships.

So much of my life was about chasing approval, acknowledgement, and love. I was stunned (when I actually caught it.)

This translated to a progression common to many diehard narcissists: first maintaining only sexual relationships ("Room Service"), then only love triangles, ("Wouldn't You Like To Know Me?" "It's All Right," "Tonight You Belong To Me") and eventually to the sort of public-eye pairings expected of rock stars then and now, i.e.  actresses and Playboy and Penthouse models. ("Psycho Circus." Okay, just kidding. Probably "Bang Bang You.") Many of whom might not be recognizable names nowadays. Here's a partial list - whole lot of 80s hair coming your way:

There was Cher's sister, Georganne LaPiere.

Donna Dixon, who left Paul for Dan Ackroyd, and for whom Paul wrote (allegedly) "I Still Love You."

Lisa Hartman

Samantha Fox

then Pam Bowen, whom he married. (Without, as he laments later, a pre-nuptial agreement.)

Pictured here with son Evan.

Pam was mostly a guest star during her heyday.

Those of us with Cheers OCD may remember her from Season 6's "The Sam in the Gray Flannel Suit."

And no, sadly, I did not need imdb to help me with this one.

Paul's fairly candid about his own failures with all of the above, and it all ends on a happy enough note when he meets current wife-Erin, an attorney.

They've since added 2 more children to the above picture.

This sort of thing is a staple of any celebrity memoir. But I give Paul credit for not slagging off any of them, despite the manner in which many of the above have conducted themselves when asked about their relationships with Paul.

He touches on a few other things worth mentioning:

ON ANTI-SEMITISM

Our entrepreneurial ability wasn't a positive trait, but rather deceit or manipulation - because this wasn't rock and all, this was what Jews did.

I'm usually the first one to roll my eyes at criticism that is deflected into "Oh you're just saying that because I'm black / a woman / Jewish," etc.; all too often it's a misdirection away from any relevant consideration or the substance of the criticism. But this is certainly something I've noticed many times when Kiss is brought up. (Even from their fans.)

ON MEETING GUNS N ROSES

When Axl played me "Nightrain," I thought it was really good, but I told him that maybe the chorus could be used as a pre-chorus instead, and there could be another chorus afterwards. That was the last time he ever spoke to me. Ever.

I offered to help Slash get in touch with people who could hook him up with some free guitars - we were sponsored by all sorts of instrument companies, and I figured a young guy like him could use some help getting equipment to record with. 

Immediately after my interaction with the band, I started to hear lots of stories Slash was saying behind my back - he called me gay, made fun of my clothes, all sorts of things designed to give himself some sort of rock credibility. This was years before his top hat, sunglasses, and dangling cigarette became a cartoon costume that he would continue to milk with the best of us for decades.

The surprise came a few months later when Slash called me and wanted to follow up on my offer to help him get some free guitars. "You want me to help you get guitars after you went around saying all that shit behind my back?" Slash got real quiet. "You know," I said, "one thing you're going to learn is not to air your dirty laundry in public. Nice knowing you. Go fuck yourself."

AND SINCE HE BROUGHT IT UP...

Each member of the band included a note written from their personas (the Starchild, Demon, etc.) in the packaging for Alive. The Starchild's reads: "Dear Lovers, Nothing arouses me more than seeing you get off on me."

It could have been taken for heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual love. I wasn't threatened by any implications of the superficial aspects of sexuality or style.

Admirable a sentiment as that is, I feel the utter ridiculousness of the message is being obscured. But that's kinda what I love about Paul. He's so committed to his narcissism that the homophobic hang-ups common to many American heterosexual men never even occur to him.

Well. Usually:

Paul's much-maligned appearance in The Decline of Western Civilization, pt. 2: The Metal Years. He claims he was sending up his image, "it was all obviously just a joke."

Still sending it up, I guess! (With the LA-Kiss cheerleaders.)

ON THE 80S

The sections of the book dealing with the 80s are perhaps the most interesting. During this period, the band was more or less Paul's baby. Gene was pursuing Hollywood ambitions and half-assing his Kiss work, and Paul was in the driver's seat. Unfortunately, (rightly or wrongly) the car he/ Kiss was driving was following the other bands of the period rather than pursuing its own course. Nowhere was this more evident than in the lyrics and costumes of this period of the band's career.

 

He disses both the songs (which I think is unfair; "Rock Hard" is a great little Kiss tune. Catchy, melodic, and fun-silly as hell) and the videos (definitely fair, though they're not the worst examples of 80s videos) recorded for Smashes, Thrashes and Hits.

In the course of those 2 videos, I wrote the textbook on what not to do in a music video. I mean, I don't walk around on the street in tights with bicycle reflectors sewn on them or Body Glove tank-tops cut off just below my nipples. This was a whole new level of bad taste and judgment.

"Love's like a glove and it fits just right." There's a lot of literal-interpretation going on in these things. Everytime Paul sings the word "down," for example, Gene points to the floor and nods sagely.

He's a bit of a dick about the models hired for the videos. ("They look like underfed pelicans - no tits and no ass.") But if anyone's expecting more body-image-enlightened commentary from the author of "Let's Put the X in Sex" and "(You Make Me) Rock Hard," they may be debating in a vacuum, as Captain Kirk once said.

RAISE YOUR GLASSES

All in all, Paul Stanley's life and career is compelling reading. I wager that we all like a "I was blind and now I see" sort of story, and this certainly follows that trajectory. I leave you first with these typical-from-Paul-but-no-less-worthwhile sentiments from the end of the book.

What Kiss does is timeless. We sing about self-empowerment, celebrating life, believing in yourself - and sex. It ain't a crime to be good to yourself. 

Is there anything more truthful than that?

(Sounds better coming out of Paul than it does out of Gene, doesn't it?)

and lastly with these 45 glorious mind-warping minutes of time-stretched Paul Stanley stage banter. I agree wholeheartedly with the first commenter: "This piece is not just beautiful, but NECESSARY and INEVITABLE."

Kiss: Album by Album (1983 - 1998)

Let us continue our Kiss odyssey (Kissodyssey?) down through the years.

This period of the band's career saw big changes. Casablanca Records went out in a blaze of debt and angel dust, and their new label was more bottom-line-oriented. Bye-bye 24-hour limo service. Ace and Peter were out, Gene and Paul parted ways with manager Bill Aucoin, and then went through four guitarists in as many years. While they were still on the first of those four (Vinnie) they decided to ditch the make-up for the release of:

Lick It Up (1983)

Track Listing: Exciter / Not for the Innocent / Lick It Up / Young and Wasted / Give Me More / All Hell's Breaking Loose / A Million to One / Fits Like a Glove / Dance All Over Your Face / And On the 8th Day

Shrewd move. The visual impact of Kiss was known the world over, but it was strongly associated with their adventures in the 1970s. The band needed to re-brand themselves for the new decade.

Favorite tunes: Title track, "Exciter," "All Hell's Breaking Loose." The rest range from "meh" to not bad. "Dance All Over Your Face" is a damn funny title, though not a fave.

"Lick It Up" is such a crazy tune. Rock classic, definitely. Whatever else can be said of this era of Kiss, they produced at least three bona-fide classics. (Not to mention at least a dozen personal favorites.) This is the first of them. Beyond the rocking-ness, it is one of the funniest videos ever filmed. I'm positive they didn't mean it to be, but such are the waters 80s videos often navigate.

The other video from the album was for "All Hell's Breaking Loose." As a song, it clocks in at about Mach-2 on the absurdity-radar. But it's got nothing on the video. I was originally going to devote a whole blog to this one, but I think I can make do with only a few screencaps. Here's the full vid itself:

After fending off an attack by slow mutants, Gene pauses to roast his turkey leg on a random street fire.

They round the corner and meet a little person in Victorian garb accompanied by a man on stilts.

This little-person-and-man-with-stilts sequence is bizarrely paired with the lines "Street hustler comes up to me one day / And I'm walkin' down the street, mindin' my own business / Now he looks me up and he looks me down and says / Hey man, what be this and what be that / And why you gotta look like that?" In the video itself, the little man pantomimes haranguing Paul in such a manner.

Is this what was meant by "street hustler?" Paul's response by the way, is epic: "Well I just looked at him, I kinda laughed, I said Hey man, I am cool, I am the breeze..." You just know he really wanted people to take this and run with it. "Call me 'The Breeze,' damn it!"

From here, they continue to some kind of club, where a thrown knife is a visual reminder of the danger they navigate on our behalf.

The knife-thrower

This is followed by almost thirty seconds of fire-breathing and suggestive apple-eating by those inside whatever club this is.

Finally, they take the stage.

The ladies are taken with Paul.

An impromptu sword fight breaks out.

The little man re-appears. (No sign of the man on stilts.) Obviously Paul's "I am the breeze" line inspired him to follow Kiss to the club, where he throws Paul a sword so Kiss can escape the fray.

And off they go.

I'm not sure if this video was filmed before or after Motley Crue's "Too Young to Fall in Love," but there are a lot of similarities. Then again, when it comes to 80s metal, all rivers tend to empty in the same sea.

Ownability Factor: 8 out of 10. Nah, 10 out of 10. Why not.

Animalize (1984)

Track Listing: I've Had Enough (Into the Fire) / Heaven's On Fire / Burn Bitch Burn / Get All You Can Take / Lonely Is the Hunter / Under the Gun / Thrills in the Night / While the City Sleeps / Murder in High Heels

(God, that cover. Ugh. You just know it's something totally disgusting, as well, like their used furry Kiss thongs or something after a night banging the same blow-up doll, or something. Gross.)

I'd written some things about this album for this here overview but after another listen last night while making pasta, I decided it deserves its own entry. Stay tuned to this space for more details.

Ownability Factor: 10 out of 10.

Asylum (1985)

Kiss's glam phase continues; it's difficult to truly explain this stuff, now or then. It has its precedent in the 70s, of course, and even older than that, but how all that translated to hard rock acts on Dial-MTV remains a single, very powerful radio emission aimed at Jupiter: still a total mystery.

Track listing: King of the Mountain / Any Way You Slice It / Who Wants To Be Lonely / Trial By Fire / I'm Alive / Love's a Deadly Weapon / Tears Are Falling / Secretly Cruel / Radar for Love / Uh! All Night

Favorite tunes: "Tears Are Falling" (the third of the three bona-fide classics aforementioned. Three guesses what the remaining one is. Hint: It's "Heaven's On Fire.") "Uh! All Night" (one of Paul's silliest, but also one of all rock's silliest) "I'm Alive" (another if-they-could-have-bottled-the-80s-it-would-have-smelled-like-this tunes) and "Who Wants To Be Lonely." The video for that one is just jawdropping. Not just the softcore porn of it all, but how exuberant everyone is. One of my favorite Kiss tunes, nonetheless. The "oh-whoah-OHH-OHH!"s in the chorus are so ridiculously fun. When explaining Paul Stanley to anyone, be sure to include this one, "I'm Alive," and maybe even "I Still Love You" from Animalize. (Okay, that's twice I've brought up Animalize since saying I'd save it for another blog, so zip it, McMillan.)

Actually, forget what I said. As Ch'gyam Trungpa once said of Wavy Gravy, "That man is self-explanatory."

So Dumb It Might Actually Be Brilliant: "Any Way You Slice It."

Ownability Factor: 8 out of 10.

Crazy Nights (1987)

Track Listing: Crazy Crazy Nights / I'll Fight Hell to Hold You / Bang Bang You / No No No / Hell or High Water / My Way / When Your Walls Come Down / Reason To Live / Good Girl Gone Bad / Turn On the Night / Thief in the Night

A comeback album of sorts, as it was their highest-selling record of the 80s. I'll spare you any further shots of Paul Stanley's thong from the back cover.

Favorite tunes: Title track, and (see below) Least favorites: "Turn On the Night" is just... words fail me. I'm shocked this was written by Paul and not Gene, actually.

Sagacity of the Starchild: I have no idea if this is the actual case or not, but it sure seems like Paul had so much fun writing "Uh! All Night" on the last album that he said, "You know what? Why even bother with innuendo?" And "Bang Bang You" is the result. You'd figure the chorus (I'm gonna bang, bang you! I'll shoot you down with my love gun, baby!) would be the silliest line in the song, but you'd figure wrong: If love's a crime I've got a hundred schemes / I'll be the villain in your book of dreams. This should probably be a "So Dumb It May Actually Be Brilliant" entry, but I'm pretty sure it's both with no ambiguity.

Ownability Factor: 5 out of 10.

In 1988, Kiss released another compilation album: 

The band recorded two new tracks: another facepalm-rocker from Paul ("Let's Put the X in Sex") and for my money the closest thing to "Love Gun" he ever wrote, "(You Make Me) Rock Hard." Not as cool as "LG," but minus the silliness of the parenthetical, there, this is a surprisingly melodic tune. It's definitely the prettiest song ever written about getting an erection.

Personal note: I hadn't heard too much 70s Kiss at the time this came out, so getting this one was akin to discovering "Space Seed" after having watched Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan so many times. And for that reason I'll give it an Ownability Factor of 9 out of 10. Plus, "Rock Hard." Maybe 10 out of 10.

Hot in the Shade (1989)

Track Listing: Rise to It / Betrayed / Hide Your Heart / Prisoner of Love / Read My Body (!?) / Love's a Slap in the Face / Forever / Silver Spoons / Cadillac Dreams / King of Hearts / The Street Giveth and the Street Taketh
Away (?!) / You Love Me To Hate You / Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell / Little Caesar/ Boomerang

At the time of its release, I really hated this album, and it seemed my decision to go with the Space Ace over these guys was the right one. Ace released Trouble Walkin' the same year, something I always let my buddy Dan know when he'd try and convince this was the superior release. Many a lunchtime argument over that one. My opinion has since been upgraded to "meh." I still consider it the band's weakest effort.

Favorite track: Technically, it's not a fave - and Ace Frehley's version is a little more to my liking, to boot - but the video for "Hide Your Heart" is pretty funny. 80s videos have several trends, and Kiss made a point - as they always do with any trend that overlaps with their target market - to check off each and every box: the live concert video, (everything from Crazy Nights) the rockers-in-post-apocalyptic-landscape video (we got two of those on Lick It Up,) the models-in-strange-make-up / band-on-neon-soundstage video, etc. ("Who Wants To Be Lonely.") And then this sort of thing: the pretense to social commentary/ story-video, usually (as is the case here) about a pair of star-crossed lovers whose tale is told interspersed between shots of the band performing.

"Boomerang" has its moments, even if it, too, is kind of generic. That's my main beef with Hot in the Shade. It sounds like literally every other hard rock album from this era. Maybe it's what the guys were going for. Their competition at this point were bands like Winger, after all.

Ownability factor: 3 out of 10.

Around this time, Kiss contributed a cover of Argent's "God Gave Rock and Roll To You" to the Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey soundtrack.

I'd always assumed it was written by Petra, who covered it for their '84 album Beat the System, which is where I first heard it as that album got a lot of play in my brother's Dungeons and Dragons group. Petra was a Christian rock band - not the most predictable company for a group that listened mainly to Demon, Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden et al.

Kiss opened for Argent back in the early days, before getting kicked off the tour. (One of the many bands to fire them as their opening act.) The song's been retconned as a "tribute to Eric Carr," who would sadly die of cancer in 1991. As a tribute, it's a little lame. It may be bad manners to say that, but it's too silly to be taken seriously. If I was at a funeral and the choir broke into this, I'd feel like they were making light of the affair. If I find out, however, that one night, the band was all down, and Eric started quietly preaching the gospel of rock and roll and how God put it in the souls of everyone, and then touched a wand to Paul's, Gene's, and Bruce's foreheads, who then rose as avatars of this new religion, well, all right.

Even without this scenario, if there is a man on Earth who actually feels about rock and roll the way all frontmen preach it to the crowd, it may be Paul Stanley. Here he raises it to the highest platitude. His "straight-talk" over the ending minute has all the feel of a baptist tent revival.

It was included on:

Revenge (1992)

Track listing: Unholy / Take It Off / Tough Love / Spit / God Gave Rock and Roll To You / Domino / Heart of Chrome / Thou Shalt Not / Every Time I Look at You / Paralyzed / I Just Wanna / Carr Jam 1981

Despite the terrible title and the even more terrible cover, this album unexpectedly (and perhaps even unreasonably) kicks a lot of ass. Vinnie Vincent returned to co-write some songs, though apparently he got along with Paul and Gene even worse this time around.

Sometimes The Demon Surprises Me: Although the song wouldn't surface until Gene's solo album over 10 years later, even Bob freaking Dylan worked on it. A fact so bizarre that it bears repeating in boldface: Bob Dylan and Gene Simmons collaborated on a song. The experience must have inspired Gene, as he contributes some of his best work here: "Unholy" - a cover version by the German band Die Artze must be heard to be believed - "Spit," and "Domino." (It's amusing to think of Gene showing these songs to Bob Dylan, and Dylan singing them to himself on the way home.)

Sagacity of the Starchild: Ditto for Paul, who seems especially committed to exaggerating his usual tricks on this album. Whether it's the Uh-huhs that punctuate the verses of "Take It Off" or the ridiculous fun of "I Just Wanna" to the chomp-and-stomp surreality of "Heart of Chrome," (You taped our sexy conversations / and you sold them to the BBC has been puzzling me for 20 years now) it's Paul's strongest presence on a Kiss record since Asylum.

Ownability factor: 10 out of 10.

Alive III (1993)

Track listing at the wiki.

Another one that is way better than it should be. The version of "I Was Made For Loving You" is heavier than any that appear elsewhere, and Paul's stage banter is from another planet.

Just a great collection of tunes altogether. Ownability factor: 15 out of 10. (Yes, even more than the first Alive.)

MTV Unplugged (1995)

Favorite tunes: The acoustic version of "I Still Love You" is somehow even more bombastic and gothic than the electric one. The same can't be said for "Sure Know Something," but it's an equally surprising choice for an acoustic album and a great version of it. I love that damn song. I love both damn songs. And Gene dusts off "Goin' Blind" for some damn reason - something he does again on Alive IV.  * Ownability Factor: 10 out of 10.

* I only this weekend began reading Gene's book (Kiss and Make-up) and discovered his old buddy and Wicked Lester bandmate Stephen Coronel co-wrote this one. I knew that part of it, I guess, but what never occurred to me was the reason this one pops up so much on other recordings is so Steve can continue to realize royalties from it. That's a cool enough little story for me to give "Goin' Blind" a pass from here on out.

The main attraction is the original line-up getting together for the last few songs. Which is cool, but it's just an appetizer for the course to come. After:

Carnival of Souls (1997)

Track listing: Hate / Rain / Master and Slave / Childhood's End / I Will Be There / Jungle / In My Head / It Never Goes Away / Seduction of the Innocent / I Confess / In the Mirror / I Walk Along

What's weirder, that Kiss cut a grunge-y record or that it's actually a perfectly legitimate grunge record? If you replaced Paul Stanley's vocals with Lane Staley's, "Jungle" would be one of Alice in Chains' best songs. Not that I'm suggesting Paul's vocals are bad on that - or any of these - track(s), just a) you'd have to remove Paul's vocals to fool anyone, as his voice is so distinctively Kiss, and b) if you did, no one would blink if this was slipped onto an Alice in Chains CD.

Ownability Factor: 10 out of 10. Like The Elder, despite its being a solid record, Kiss more or less distanced themselves completely from it. They had good reason to, though, as they did the reunion tour and then the reunion record:

Psycho Circus (1998)

Track listing: Psycho Circus / Within / I Pledge Allegiance to the State of Rock and Roll / Into the Void / We Are One / You Wanted the Best / Raise Your Glasses / I Finally Found My Way / Dreamin' / Journey of 1000 Years

In the 90s, grunge did to metal what Rome did to Carthage. Kiss survived with its fan base intact - they and Metallica seemed to be the only metal acts of the 80s to do so - but even had they not, they always had a trump card. If times got tough, they could put the make-up back on, grab Ace and Peter from their respective small-venue tours / IRS problems, and go on tour.

Which is exactly what they did. And they made a gazillion dollars. (Well, $147 million, more precisely. The highest grossing tour in their history.)

Ace and Peter were paid per show and didn't get a cut of the merchandising/ ticket sales. Something both complain about a lot in their books. While I can sympathize - it's got to be tough to be hired back into the band you once quarter-owned as only an employee and seeing your former mates rake in the lion's share of the profits - let's keep this in mind. Peter got paid $40k per show, Ace $50k. They played around 400 shows between 1996 and 2001. That's over $16 million for Peter and $20 million for Ace.

Those are only estimations, obviously, but still. Not a bad chunk of change.

It's got to be tough to see yourself only "moderately" enriched while working just as hard as the guys who are getting five times as rich, sure. But we'll get to all of this in the solo books.

The tours aside, Psycho Circus is a reunion in name only. Peter and Ace appear basically only on "Into the Void" though Ace plays on a couple of other tracks.

Favorite tracks: Title track, "Into the Void," "Dreamin'."

Sometimes the Demon Surprises Me: It's Gene's songs that are the most surprising. There's not a clunker in the bunch - that makes Psycho Circus the only Kiss record where Gene outshines Paul. Even crazier: neither "Within," "We Are One," nor "Journey of 1000 Years" allude in any way to genitalia, his or anyone else's. This should have been the cover story of every magazine in 1998. (Compounding the oversight instead of correcting it, Time Magazine gave its "Men of the Year" Award to Kenneth Starr and Bill Clinton. Way to go, nerds.)

And Men Shall Call Him... Space Ace: When Ace belts out "I'm losing power and I don't know wh-y-y-y..." it's a more-than-words moment of what's been missing from every Kiss record since The Elder.

Ownability Factor: 10 out of 10

~

At some point, I'll blog up my thoughts on Alive IV, (the DVD) Sonic Boom, and Monster. I always roll my eyes when a band goes on a Farewell tour, then keeps touring and putting out albums. I don't quibble with their right to do whatever they want, of course, but as my small protest to the practice, I won't include those in this 2-part overview. The albums are worth covering, though, and I'll probably turn my attention to other aspects of the Kissverse before I get there.