12.17.2021

The Scenic Route: Redheads in Comics



Here's another "cleaning out the garage" post, i.e. one I've tinkered with here and there but never really finished. I'd wanted to do one of these redheads-in-comics posts because I get so sick of seeing the usual suspects and saying "What about x, y, and x?" That's usually what prompts me to write a blog: someone else's crappy list. Then I was going to work in all of these old Jimmy Olson screencaps for comic relief. ("He's a man, baby!")

But it got kind of silly. For one, I didn't want to go through a million comics getting pervy screencaps of redheads. I came to that conclusion after going through a million comics getting pervy screencaps of redheads. For two, well, I mean, the joke's not even that great. Not that it stopped me from tripling down on it, below. 

But in the interests of dumping all that is dumpable over the side before bringing this ship to port, here's what I have for you. Not included below: every redhead in comics not included below. 

Quick caveat: I ignored the Archie-verse.

Sorry, Riverdalers.



Years ago I read something (I think) with regard to the preponderance of redheads in comics. Something about the color mixture? Some marketing rule of thumb? Irwin Donenfield and Marty Goodman just had a thing for redheads? If anyone knows the answer, feel free to drop it in the comments. 

In alphabetical order and ending with the Queen of Redheads in Comics, let us begin. 

BATGIRL/ BARBARA GORDON




BEVERLY FROM HOWARD THE DUCK




BEVERLY FROM TNG




BLACK WIDOW



THE DEVIL WOMEN
(by COOP)





You ever spend a whole rave with techno blaring from one thing to the next surrounded by murals of pornographic devil ladies, all while trying to keep your atoms from just swirling off into space? Me, neither. Why would anyone even bring it up? What kind of own-goal BS is that? I imagine such a thing would do a number on a fella, though. See you in the re-education camps, comrades.


FIRESTAR



HENRY PETER GYRICH!



What an asshole. Next.


JEAN GREY 
(aka MARVEL GIRL, PHOENIX)




JIMMY OLSEN


Neither can we, lady from the past.



THE LITTLE RED-HEADED GIRL




Hey! You leave her out of this. She didn't do nuthin'. 


MADELYNE
(aka THE GOBLIN QUEEN)




Is she alive? Is she dead?
Was she real? Was she red?

Well yes. Yes, she was red. I mean, that's why she's here.


MATT MURDOCK

Nerd alert!



MEDUSA




MJ
(aka MARY JANE PARKER, aka
MARY JANE WATSON)


The most famous redhead in comics? Outside of the Archieverse? Possibly. Then again, my intel is woefully out of date. I just googled and found half a dozen Mary Jane Watson tumblrs and pinterests and what not but didn't recognize a single image from anywhere except the famous one. 

This one, I mean. 




PATSY WALKER


Once the most famous Marvel-ite of all, later married into the Satan family and everything went to Hell. (Ba-dum-dum.) Reminds me of the joke from Little Nicky. "My Dad's in Hell and he's falling apart." That joke and every time he says "the deep South" and laughs in that forever amuse me. Way too many jokes forever amuse me from that movie. No redheads to be found, though! Moving on.




RED SONJA


If not MJ, then probably Sonja, although I don't know if she's exclusively a Marvel character, per se. Or even just comics. (Okay, I just wiki'd - here's the scoop.) As I mentioned back here, this one is kind of tough to screencap without feeling a little creepy about it, which is too bad because it really is a fun comic and the sword-and-sorcery stuff is great.  



AND FINALLY,
QUEEN MERA


It's difficult to take any of these lists seriously when they leave off Queen Mera. Nick Cardy's Queen Mera is the champ, actually and obviously, list-makers. 

Let the record be corrected and go forth and sin no more.

Aquaman, you idiot.


~

How did I make it through this whole post without linking to this? Or this? Or this? Restraint, that's how. Can't learn that in a hockey rink...!


5 comments:

  1. (1) Me: (enters site, scrolls down)...???

    (See the majority of main cast on the list).......(Cue internal Beavis and Butt-head laughter).

    (2) Sorry, couldn't be helped. Would've happened sooner or later.

    (3) The perfect irony is that technically it is, and isn't cheating when it comes to that Devil Girl comic.

    (4) I hear you on the Red Sonja deal. I wonder how she's going to be viewed by future generations (aside from the most obvious form of "continuity", that is).

    ChrisC.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. (4) They should give it a shot as a show. One part "Xena," one part "Game of Thrones" or something.

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    2. (3) And the funny things is: they're not even redheads!

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  2. (1) "For one, I didn't want to go through a million comics getting pervy screencaps of redheads. I came to that conclusion after going through a million comics getting pervy screencaps of redheads." -- The error of our ways often illuminates the errors of our way. I figure, time spent ogling redheads is time at least reasonably well wasted.

    (2) I remember those Coop Devil Girls being on the cover of a Lords of Acid CD I had in college -- I had no idea they were from some other thing originally. All I'll say is, I found them to be delightful and charming figures, much agreeable all around.

    (3) Looking at that "Jimmy Olsen as The Giant Turtle Man" panel, I feel as if I've side-stepped into a multiverse of madness.

    (4) Hmm. This Goblin Queen hath piqued mine interest.

    (5) Let's not speak further of that final MJ panel, I do not trust myself.

    (6) Good lord, Queen Mera needs a movie starring Christina Hendricks right this very second! Instead, they went with [checks notes] ... Amber Heard. Amber ... Heard. Hollywood, you're almost entirely worthless.

    (7) Lordy, I hadn't thought of that Warrant song in quite some time. Insert untranscribeable vocal sound of wonderment here!

    (8) Ah, Robey...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. (1) There is much truth in both of these things.

      (6) Yeah agreed that casting made no damn sense.

      (7) I used to work with a guy who would belt that one out at surprising times, and it always lands. I'm surprised I didn't use this joke before this, actually. Restraint indeed!

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