THINK YOU KNOW...
|As of 2015, they're still here.|
My daughters are mesmerized by these guys. Other things have occupied them from time to time, but the Wiggles are a mainstay. My wife and I have surrendered - We're Wiggles People Now, we say, like Catholics in mass. (Well, more like Charlie from Always Sunny re: crabs)
Suffice it to say if you've had any interaction with me over the past couple of years, "Oh Me, Oh My, He Barks All Day and Night" has been playing in the background - either literally or just in my head on repeat. Endlessly. Any new parent finds him or her self watching, reading, or listening to their children's favorite things over and over, of course. Nothing out of the ordinary about that. What makes it (arguably) blogworthy is, in the words of Danny DeVito from Twins, I mean, do I look normal to you?
Many parents feel no compulsion to track down the whys and wherefores of these things. Me? After a few months of Wiggles saturation, I couldn't help myself from googling, asking questions and piecing together the story. This eventually led to purchasing Anthony's autobiography, above. (I still haven't pulled the trigger on Greg's.) I say this with no pride nor shame. (Particularly no pride.) It's just what led me to the below.
I don't mean to damn them with faint praise - they're a bona-fide phenomenon of many decades running, and their body of work is full of wonderful little surprises once you surrender to the madness. And their harmonies are great.
So with no further ado - grab a notepad and play along. Or gawk in disbelief or terror - whatever works. Thirty questions! It's
THE DOG STAR OMNIBUS
WIGGLES QUIZ FIESTA!
WIGGLES QUIZ FIESTA!
1) Of the original four members, who is the only one still in the group in 2015?
|a) Anthony, b) Greg, c) Murray, or d) Jeff.|
2) Jeff suffers from what medical condition?
|a) Narcolepsy, b) Insomnia, c) Immediate postprandial upper-abdominal distension|
3) Who is this?
|a) Henry the Octopus, b) Dorothy the Octopus, c) Ted Shackley.|
4) What is this?
|a) The Big Red Car, b) the Wigglesmobile, c) the Ned Kelly.|
5) Romance blossomed between which two Wiggly dancers?
|a) Sam and Lyn, b) Wags and Dorothy, c) Alfonso and Caterina.|
6) Each of the new Wiggles (Simon in the red, Emma in the yellow, Lachy in the purple) joined the original gang's Farewell tour in 2012. (I guess this spoils question 1, doesn't it? Oops.) Which of the new Wiggles appeared onstage as "Dr. Knickerbocker?"
|a) Lachy, b) Simon, c) Emma, or d) Arnel Pineda.|
7) 2012 also saw the release of Surfer Jeff. Simon appears in the film as whom?
|a) Gino the Genie, b) the Admiral of Orange, c) Gough Whitlam.|
8) Which celebrity singer collaborated with the Wiggles on "At the Doctors"?
|a) Leo Sayer|
|b) John Fogerty|
|c) Don Spencer|
9) In this segment from the Wiggles Jukebox on Dorothy the Dinosaur, how would you characterize this Dad?
|a) about to lose it, b) secretly into it, c) undercover agent from the Fresh Beat Band.|
10) How about this Parisian lady when confronted with Anthony's antics in this segment from "C'est Wags, C'est Bon" from Surfer Jeff?
|a) "This is an insult to France!" b) "Stupid American!" c) "I must know more."|
11) When Greg left the group in 2006, what was his cash-out for his share of the business?
|a) $10 million, b) $20 million, c) $30 million,|
|d) Wait a minute, how much now?|
12) When Sam was promoted from background dancer to the new Wiggle in yellow, it meant the retirement of what long-running supporting character?
|a) Dapper Dave, b) Wallaby Dundee, c) Gaius Baltar.|
13) Each of the two background dancers below (shown with Dorothy, r, and Leo Sayer, l) outstayed practically everyone. Name at least one of them. Bonus points - which one is still with the group?
14) What 80s pub rock band, once called "the hardest-working band in Australia," claimed both Jeff and Anthony as members and was fronted by Wiggles producer/ director Paul Field?
|a) The Cockroaches, b) Crowded House, c) Midnight Oil.|
15) Which of their songs were later recycled as Wiggles classics?
|a) Do the Monkey, b) Bit by Bit, Little by Little, c) Caveman|
16) The character featured below is later played by one of the dancers featured in question 13. What is the character's name?
|a) Officer Beaples, b) Constable Claire, c) Zardo Zap.|
17) The character above was featured prominently in the credits to which Wiggles show? (Each season they named it something else, confusingly.)
|a) Wiggles World, b) Ready Steady Wiggle, c) Network Wiggles, d) Wiggles: New Jack City.|
18) The performer in the picture below is the Fifth Wiggle. Name the character he normally plays, the name of the actor, or the person he is impersonating in this picture:
19) How high is Murray?
|a) Pretty high|
|b) Heroically high|
|c) on-a-yacht-with-Woody-Harrelson high|
20) Complete this line: C'est Wags, (C'est Wags) / C'est Bon (C'est Bon) / He's the coolest dog you'll ever meet. / C'est Wags, (C'est Wags) C'est Bon (C'est Bon) ...
|a) "The doggy with the dancing feet (woof!)" b) "The doggy that you just can't beat (woof!)" or c) "For those about to rock, we salute you. (woof!")|
21) Complete this line: Surfer Jeff, Surfer Jeff, Surfer Jeff / Ooo - ai-yi-yi-yaa / Everybody knows it's Surfer Jeff ...
a) More "ai-yi-yi-yaa", b) "He hasn't had a wipeout yet", c) "He's gonna' get his surfboard wet."
|a) Admiral Goodbloke, b) Alfonso, c) Jeff the Chef|
23) Which celebrity performer's song with the Wiggles has been removed from the band's repertoire due to subsequent sexual misconduct charges on the celebrity's part?
a) Bill Cosby, b) Rolf Harris, c) Gary Glitter.
24) THERE'S A BABY DRIVING THE BOAT?!
|AND THE BUS!?|
|Whose baby is this? a) Anthony's, b) Murray's, c) Michael Hutchence's.|
25) What is the stage name of this lunatic?
|a) Billabong, b) Bandicoot, c) Jolly Jumper.|
26) Who plays the dogcatcher in Dorothy the Dinosaur's origin story?
|a) Harvey Keitel, b) Paul Paddick, c) Paul Field.|
27) In the early years of the group, what musician who achieved worldwide fame in the 80s played the Chef in "Fruit Salad?"
|a) Nick Cave from Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, b) Paul Hester from Crowded House, c) Colin Hay from Men at Work.|
28) One of the highlights of Network Wiggles was Captain Feathersword's fledgling career as a meteorologist.
|Name the instrument the Captain is holding:|
|a) his weathersword, b) his barometer-thermometer, c) his wigglewand.|
29) Many of the Wiggles' adventures take place in this area - what is it?
|a) Tasmania, b) Wiggle Bay, c) Wigglestralia|
30) Emma is known for her penchant for what?
|a) Framed pictures of Captain Feathersword, b) bows, c) poodle skirts.|
Okay, submit your scores!
|a) Anthony (Anthony Field).|
Anthony is the last of the original Wiggles. Not counting his brother Paul, who's long been the behind-the-scenes mastermind of the group, or Paul Paddick, who plays Captain Feathersword.
Wake up, Jeff! In real life, Jeff Fatt suffers from heart arrhythmia and was fitted with a pacemaker in 2011.
|a) Henry the Octopus|
|a) the Big Red Car.|
|a) Sam and Lyn. (That's them to the left of the Captain, above.)|
Lyn originally was hired to bring Dorothy the Dinosaur to life for the group, which she did for several years, but she was also one of the Friendly Pirates, along with Dapper Dave, played by Sam.
|Lyn is from South Carolina and has a BS in genetics.|
|a) Gino the Genie.|
|a) Leo Sayer.|
Leo sang "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing" which he performed with the Wiggles on the DVD of the same name. John Fogerty and Don Spencer also collaborated with the Wiggles, Fogerty with "Rockin' Santa" and Spencer with "Drinking Rosy Tea with Dorothy". (Who's Don Spencer, you ask? Only Russell Crowe's stepdad! And a children's entertainer of his own longstanding.)
|b) $20m and d) Wait a minute, how much now?|
|a) Dapper Dave.|
|a) Caterina and Clare.|
Caterina is still with the group. Clare (Paul Field's daughter, i.e. Anthony's niece) left to go to college. The Wiggles premiered when she was only five years old, and she performed regularly with them over the years. Which, along with the silvering of everyone's hair, allows the viewer to observe the surreal passage of time.
14) a) The Cockroaches. Their biggest hit was "She's the One", which totally belongs in an 80s-movie-montage:
15) All of those, actually, as well as "Mr. Wiggles Comes to Town," which became the band's signature song in the early years, "Get Ready to Wiggle." I wish I didn't know this crap.
|a) Caterina Mete.|
The Wiggles peaked with something like 12 dancers. Now she and one other dancer do all the honors and play most of the characters to boot. I'd love it if there was a bloody edging-out-her-rivals side to this story. Maybe one of the others will write a tell-all Black Swan memoir.
17) a) Wiggles World
|And the other answer is Ed Sullivan.|
19) Very. I kid, I kid.
|Murray's got some chops, and he seems a very good sport.|
|b) "The doggy with the dancing feet. (woof!)"|
|b) "He hasn't had a wipeout yet."|
|"Pasta fresca is the best-a!"|
|b) Rolf Harris.|
He may not be a household name in the US, but he was a popular radio and television performer in Australia and the UK from the 60s on. (He even changed the lyrics to his most well-known song for a singalong with the Beatles back in the day.) He was sentenced to five years in jail as an 84-year-old man in 2014 for indecent assault charges stemming from the 1960s through the 1980s. The judge had some choice words for him, all well-deserved. I only learned about this when researching this question. (And promptly un-bookmarked it. Some things you can't - and shouldn't - unlearn.)
|a) Anthony's. (Antonio Field.)|
This guy's convulsion-like headbobbing is his signature move. It really draws attention to itself. My wife and I had him pegged as "that crazy guy" before I started looking up this stuff. (Maybe I shouldn't be calling anyone crazy...)
|c) Paul Field. He was also the lead singer of the Cockroaches:|
27) b) Paul Hester from Crowded House. R.I.P., Paul. Great tune:
28) a) his weathersword. It's established elsewhere that the Captain can't really count or read, so presumably someone tells him what to say. It doesn't matter too much, as his job is mainly to just stand there and get things dropped on him from above.
29) b) Wiggle Bay. The Wiggles are either landed aristocracy with everything named after them (as well as an airline named after them, though they still must purchase tickets to use it, for some reason) or there is a great deal if inconsistency with their geography. But Wiggle Bay is their main area of operations.
30) b) Bows. The new Wiggles don't seem to have the surname "Wiggles." I'm not sure how I feel about this. On one hand, it avoids any "wait, are they cousins, adopted siblings, children, what?" sort of talk. On the other, it's like joining the Ramones and not taking the "Ramone" name. (Emma and Lachy, by the way, recently revealed that they were in a relationship. Uh-oh. Let's hope this doesn't turn into a Fleetwood Mac situation down the road.)
Romp-bomp-a-chomp / Through the roses we stomp /
The garden will never be the same