Cut You in Half While You're Smilin' Ear to Ear: Magic

To-night!

(2007)

Bryan: Bryant you old such-and-such! Are you ready to shake the pillars of heaven?

Bryant: I'm not saying I've been everywhere and I've done everything. But I do know this is a pretty amazing planet we live on here. And a man would have to be some kind of fool to think we're all alone in this universe.

Bryan: It's the final countdown! It's Magic. It's...

"Radio Nowhere"

Bryan: 2.5/5 It's okay.

Bryant: I’m paying more attention to the sound/production of these songs thanks to the malefic influence of Dog Star Omnibus, and right off the bat, I can tell I’m going to ding this song a few points for its production. There’s a strong rock song here, and the production did not quite find it. This isn’t bad, though; I do like it. 2.5/5

"You'll Be Comin' Down"

Bryan: 2/5 Seems kind of redundant of "Lucky Town." At least in the chorus.

Bryant: Damn, I had not noticed the similarity to “Lucky Town.” I guess that’s why I like this song! Well, that and Clarence. I think it’s probably true that having a Clemons sax solo – even a mediocre one, which this one is – is going to add about a half a point for me. 2.5/5

"Living in the Future"

Bryan: 1.75/5 Meh.

Bryant: I like this song. 2.5/5 My scores are stuck in a rut, apparently.  I blame the production, which is just … off. I can’t entirely put my finger on why I feel that way about it, but Wikipedia gives me a few clues. First, Brendan O’Brien also produced The Rising (which I felt the same way about), so I think he might be at fault here. Second, apparently the band did not record as a unit thanks to the scheduling challenges. Now, for all I know, Born to Run was recorded exactly the same way. All I know is that there is an artificial feel to these songs that does them no favors. The good news is that I bet there are great live versions of all of these; they do seem to me like fundamentally good songs, so a great performance of them could and would elevate them into another category, at least for me.

Bryan: With regard to Brendan O'Brien:

In the 90s when my old band Boat Chips started recording we were right at the end of the Analog Age. Actually, that's not quite true; that age was well and truly done by the mid-90s but as far as home recording was concerned, I mean, we were still operating on the previous age's premises. We did our first few albums on a 6 track, then the next few on a 8 track, then we had Cakewalk and some other software. (For me, it was a dizzying progression. I handled zero percent of this side of stuff and would just show up and do my part; occasionally I'd plug in a microphone and by the end of our recording career in 2004 I was trusted to attach the pop filter, even) When I saw music on the computer screen for one of our songs, it looked a bit like this:

That's not actually one of our tunes, just to give a visual idea. What you have there is the digital readout of the loudness and softness of the mix, with the peaks and valleys of sound. I bring all this up because while Boat Chips was futzing like a million other bands with spiffy new home recording software, the professional bands themselves were drafted into The Loudness War. That was the result of the industry's progression from primitive recording to the digital age. (I hope I set this up right! It's meant to be parallel.) Suddenly, everything - regardless of the tune - started to look like this:

Brendan O'Brien is a producer of this Loudness era, and Magic is a Loudness War record. Over-compressed as shit with the dynamic range choked to death. That's what won, though - it became about eliminating the highs and lows in the range and pressing it all against a digital ceiling.

I admire Bruce's saviness about his career, and I see his working with producers like B'oB as a concession to the realities of the biz. I can respect that. I do kind of wish he (Bruce) gave a bigger crap about this and worked with someone like Butch Vig (whose production sensibility might be considered of the Loudness variety, but I like his ear/ touch quite a bit) instead of Brendan O'Brien (who I do not). 

But sooner or later, Bruce must figure, he's going to play it live and have to communicate its meaning better than the studio anyway so maybe he just shrugs it off. It's all about the tune for him.

Now, Butch Vig - there's a Loudness-era producer who can do all the same tricks but whose ear is fantastic; there isn't a record he produced that isn't a masterpiece of dynamic range, for my money. (Especially those Garbage ones.) I wish Bruce had hooked up with him instead of B'oB for these albums.

I say this as a mostly tone deaf, still-technologically-challenged, ungrateful whelp. But that's my take on it all. If his early albums suffered from not having someone at the console who captured the songs as adroitly as the they deserved, these new ones have to overcome the Loudness Solid Block of Blah That Has Hoodwinked The World. Trouble is, I don't think the songs are good enough for that (although they do sound better live.)

I hope this digression hasn't been tedious.

Bryant: Not even slightly. It helps me understand my reaction to this stuff.  I can remember the incongruity the sound of The Rising held for me on the first listen, second listen, third, etc. Back then I had no notion of why I was hearing it that way, no notion that the production might be the reason why I was hearing it. But I knew that it didn't entirely match my personal definition of what "Bruce Springsteen" sounded like. That definition varied from "Blinded by the Light" to "Highway Patrolman" to "Dancing in the Dark," too, so it's not like I had a narrow corridor that the Boss could fit in and that was it.

At the same time, though, the album didn't entirely NOT match my personal definition of "Bruce Springsteen," either. They seemed like fundamentally Springsteenian songs, just ... missing something. Or with something added.

I didn't know. I kind of do now, and while the intricacies of production are still somewhat mysterious to me, I'm getting to where I'm more attuned to it.

Very interesting!

"Your Own Worst Enemy"

Bryant: 2.5/5 More of the same.

Bryan: 1.75/5 Yeah, more meh. I like the "your flag flew so high it drifted into the sky" line but this is just boring. On this particular topic, I prefer this one. Which I bet the E Street Band would have turned into something special. I can't picture Bruce singing it, but maybe Steve.

"Gypsy Biker"

Bryan: 1.75/5 Ditto.

Bryant: If I pay close attention, I make a good guess as to what Bruce is singing. I’m not paying particularly close attention, though; the song doesn’t make me want to. But, again, it’s not bad; just kind of bland and uninspiring. 2/5

"Girls in Their Summer Clothes"

Bryan: 3/5 A bit more purposeful of a song. Still not the most interesting melody/ arrangement but it's fine.

Bryant: I think this aspires to a sort of Phil Spector sound, but holy Hannah does it not get there. Brendan O’Brien is a hack; I instinctively know him to be the Akiva Goldsman of music production. 2.5/5

Bryan: Someone needs to add that to his wiki! And credit you.  

"I'll Work For Your Love"

Bryan: 3/5 The opening sounds old school E Street-ish and then into the generic sound of the rest of the album.

Bryant: It’s alright. 2/5 This wants to be in the vein of “You Can Look But You Better Not Touch” and just doesn’t get there.

"Magic"

Bryan: 2.5/5 The music's okay but here's a rare lyrical misfire from Bruce IMO - the ending irony ("bodies hanging in the trees") just comes out of nowhere and sounds silly to me rather than withering-insight/irony. Message confusion.

Bryant: This is my favorite song on the album. This surprises me; I didn’t remember it at all. Your note about the lyrics being incongruous piqued my interest. As I mentioned earlier, I’m doing a shoddy job of paying attention to the lyrics on this album – (a) because I always do, (b) because the production is a sock full of mud, and (c) because the songs are a bit on the mediocre side and are not calling for my attention – so I wasn’t sure whether I agreed with you or not. But I decided to give Bruce the benefit of the doubt and assume that since that’s how the song culminates, he intended everything that came before it to support it. A bit of research turned up this quote from an interview with Rolling Stone: "The song 'Magic' is about living in a time when anything that is true can be made to seem like a lie, and anything that is a lie can be made to seem true.There are people that have taken that as their credo.The classic quote was from one of the Bushies in The New York Times: 'We make our own reality. You guys report it, we make it.' I may loathe that statement – the unbelievable stupidity and arrogance of it – more than I loathe 'Bring it on' and 'Mission accomplished.' That song, it's all about illusion: 'Trust none of what you hear / And less of what you'll see / This is what will be' – we make it. Until you get to the last verse: 'There's a fire down below / It's coming up here... There's bodies hanging in the trees / This is what will be.' That's the heart of my record right there." I think that musically, the song supports this notion; it cues you that while he’s singing about magic, it’s not a good or fun type of magic. The song is ten years old now, and the topic he’s singing about it so much worse. Or, if you prefer, my perception of it is so much worse; it’s an important distinction, obviously. Either way, I respond to this song. 3.25/5 I think the production benefits this song rather than getting in its way.

Bryan: I like your take on it. I like the song a bit more now that I've heard it a few times. I can definitely appreciate what Bruce was trying to do, but I don't think he pulled it off here.

Brave of Bruce to object to this stuff from Republicans, though. Maybe the idea will catch on. Lord knows there's enough discussion of any other-side-of-the-aisle "magic!" Particularly from musicians and actors.

"Last To Die"

Bryan: 2.5/5 Good but still kind of generic - is it the arrangement? I don't know. Something about this seems like the wrong approach.

Bryant: Not bad. I agree that it is generic. The string-sounding section toward the end is awful. I’m not sure what it even is.  Synthesized strings? A wall of guitars? It sucks balls, is all I know. There’s a good song buried under all this oatmeal. 2/5

"Long Walk Home"

Bryan: 2/5 Good lyrics/ idea but suffers from the rest-of-the-album disease: i.e. it all just sounds generic/ over-compressed. This is the precise opposite production problem to  Asbury Park. 

Bryant: There’s a sense of drama in this song that pulls me into it, so I assume that when I discover the great live version that I’m sure exists, that will become a favorite. This is not. 2.5/5 plus Clarence, so 3/5. I’d have recast this in the mold of “I’m on Fire,” with some light sticks-on-the-edge-of-the-drum percussion and some wistful synth and group vocals by Bruce and Clarence and Steve.

"Devil's Arcade"

Bryan: 2.25/5 Might've made a better U2 song - seems better suited for them. Or maybe it would've benefited from a more Nebraska type arrangement.

Bryant: I’d be happy to hear U2 cover this, if only so they’d make something cohesive out of it. The nine-note melody that pops up throughout and is mostly played on electric guitar (I think) is problematic, and I don’t entirely know why. Bottom line is that I don’t like it. The song itself, overall, is okay. 2/5

"Terry's Song"

Bryan: 2/5 Musically I'll give this one more of a "1.5" but the idea/ tribute is sweet and I tip my cap with an extra half a point.

Bryant: I like this more than you do, although it may be purely because it sounds more organic. Compared to much of the rest of the album – to which it was apparently a late addition – it’s a breath of fresh air. 2.75/5

~

Bryan: Total 27.5, Avg 2.27 There's some nice Clarence on this album, but none of the songs really excite me much. Seems like the kind of music people who know how to write songs/ rock out would put out but there's little essential here.

Bryant: Overall – 29.5 total, 2.46 average. This is a frustrating album. It scored the same as The Ghost of Tom Joad for me, but if I were asked to pick a favorite, it’s be Magic, easily. But giving it a bit of actual attention – as opposed to merely using it as background music – reveals that the production really did let the songs down quite badly. Are they bad songs, though? Not at all; it’s a good collection. So if I were to work at them, and gain an appreciation for the context that underpins each, I can imagine this becoming more of a favorite for me. After all, I do believe that context – the context of the title song, for example – matters, and I can think of examples of becoming a much bigger fan of a song after something caused me to recontextualize it. (Placement in a movie will do that for me quicker than anything, except maybe for hearing the story of how and why it was written/recorded.)

That said, it’s not necessary for context to be present in order for a song to work. I always think of “New York City Serenade” in that regard. I remember the first time I heard that song, it felt like my mental definition of “music” was being rewritten on the fly. Did I know what the song was about? No. Didn’t matter; I felt the song. An understanding of its context can probably make me love it more, but it wasn’t necessary in order for the love of it to come into being.

I like all of the songs on Magic, and I might say that I get close to loving a few of them; but I never quite get all the way there. Maybe I still will. That’s possible. It’s equally possible that somebody else would have that blossom of love burst forth upon their first listen. I see no reason why that isn’t possible, too.

For my own tastes, though, this one is fine, but not magical.

Bryan: I want to buy this on vinyl and see that stamped on the back!

UPDATED RANKINGS:

Bryan:

Lucky Town 2.15

Greetings from Asbury Park 2.19

Magic 2.27

The Ghost of Tom Joad 2.44

In Concert / MTV Plugged 2.82

Tracks 2.83

Chimes of Freedom 2.86

Blood Brothers 2.88

Human Touch 2.9

Book of Dreams 3.1

Hammersmith Odeon, London 3.1

The Rising 3.3

Devils and Dust 3.36

The Wild, the Innocent, and the E Street Shuffle 3.43

Live in New York City 3.5

Loose Ends 3.63

Greatest Hits (New Tracks Only) 3.65

We Shall Overcome: The Pete Seeger Sessions 3.67

The River 3.71

Tunnel of Love 3.8

Darkness on the Edge of Town 3.82

Live ’75 - ‘85 4

Live in Dublin 4.11

Born to Run 4.41

Nebraska 4.5

Born in the USA 5.4

Bryant:

Human Touch 1.7

Hammersmith Odeon, London '75 2.04

Lucky Town 2.15

The Ghost of Tom Joad 2.46

Magic 2.46

Devils and Dust 2.48

Book of Dreams 2.58

Chimes of Freedom 2.69

In Concert / Mtv Plugged 2.75

Greetings from Asbury Park 2.75

Tracks 2.81

Blood Brothers 2.9

The Rising 3.1

Live in Dublin 3.22

Tunnel of Love 3.35

We Shall Overcome: The Pete Seeger Sessions 3.37

Greatest Hits (New Tracks Only) 3.38

The River 3.39

Live in New York City 3.48

The Wild, the Innocent, and the E Street Shuffle 3.68

Live ’75 - ‘85 3.7

Loose Ends 3.92

Born to Run 4.35

Darkness on the Edge of Town 4.4

Nebraska 4.63

Born in the USA 4.88

~

Hey folks, there'll be no Sunday Night Springsteen tomorrow - see you next year!

Space Ace: My Favorites

Let's turn our attention to Our Man from Jendell, the Spaceman himself, Mr. Ace Frehley. One of only a handful of known extra-terrestrials active on Planet Earth today. And my favorite example of that curious specimen: the Rock Star Guitar God.

This isn't an overview of his Kiss work nor a biography, although aspects of both will undoubtedly come up. It's just a list of my 20 favorite Ace songs. Given the relative obscurity of some of these tunes, I've included links to each song for reference but only one of the official music videos ("New York Groove.") They're there if you want them, or feel free to skip them.

In 1978, each member of Kiss released a solo album on the same day. Ace's is not only the best but also among my personal top 5 hard rock/ metal albums of the 20th century.

(The others, you ask? Def Leppard's Pyromania, Fifth Angel's Fifth Angel, Iron Maiden's Brave New World, and Black Sabbath's Sabbath Bloody Sabbath. And an honorable mention for Saxon's Crusader. Amen.)

Ace wanted out of the band (as did Peter) and he clearly had a great time recording it. Its success must have been exceptionally gratifying. It's a bit like All Things Must Pass by George Harrison. In the same way George had all of these great tunes that he could never get on a Beatles record because of John and Paul, Ace had a similar backlog for similar reasons.

Ace formally left Kiss in 1982 and formed Frehley's Comet (a name I always thought was great.) They released two studio albums and a couple of live efforts.

There's a sense of diminishing return in Ace's solo career. I loved the crap out of Trouble Walkin' when it came out: 

 

But while it (and the Frehley's Comet records) have some moments of brilliance, they are mostly unremarkable. Which isn't to take away from them - and I think Trouble Walkin' is better than Crazy Nights or Hot in the Shade, by way of comparison - it's just acknowledging how high the bar was set with the 1978 one. Saleswise, Ace's '78 album rules the roost, and the others range from minor hits to duds, unfortunately.

Recorded after the Space Ace finally got clean after decades of flying high, 2009's Anomaly breaks the pattern somewhat. 

No one would confuse it with Ace Frehley (1978) but it's a solid record and the ratio of great-tunes-to-meh is a happy surprise. Fun cover.

And the CD packaging folds into a pyramid, to boot.

It's interesting to consider what might have happened had Ace left the band when he wanted to in the late 70s. The tunes that ended up on Kiss records (Talk To Me, Two Sides of the Coin, Torpedo Girl, 2000 Man, Save Your Love, Hard Times, Dark Light, Escape from the Island) would likely have been on his follow-up to the '78 album. That would have made a pretty formidable one-two punch. How would the 80s have been different, both for Ace and for Kiss? Certainly better than the one-two of Ace Frehley followed by Frehley's Comet, and, without Ace's tunes on either record, immensely better than the one-two Kiss would have had with Dynasty and Unmasked. 

I'd love to peek into an alternate reality where the above is what happened instead of what happened in ours. 

But let us however-reluctantly stick to this universe for now.

Here are my favorite solo-Ace tunes, least to most. (Honorable mention for "Fractured Too," which I do very much enjoy, but I already have all the other "Fractured"s on here, so it's well-represented.)

20. 2 Young 2 Die (from Trouble Walkin') Ace was always pretty generous with letting friends and guests share the spotlight and stage. This makes Frehley's Comet, Second Sighting and Trouble Walkin' a bit uneven, though, as Richie Scarlet (who sings this one) and Tod Howarth, who gets a lot of space on the Frehley's Comet records, have very different styles than Ace.

This is a fun little track, though, and Peter Criss sings back-up. (Allegedly. It's tough to pick him out.) All in all, a little bit of non-Ace stuff goes a long way. This is the only non-Ace tune on Trouble Walkin', whereas Howarth sings like four or five songs on Second Sighting alone.

19. Separate (from Second Sighting) This isn't an especially fantastic track, and the video linked-to is of poor quality. But what can I say? It's a list of favorites, not suggestions for an Academy of St. Martin in the Fields retrospective.

18. Juvenile Delinquent (from Second Sighting) And same goes for this one. I cut a lot of lawns to this cassette! This tune cracks me up. I felt at the time that this was good, empowering advice.

17.5. "Into the Night" (from Frehley's Comet) (EDIT: I forgot about this one, but thanks to longtime pal and DSO reader Michael Haeflinger, I now remember. I apologize to the Celestial Court of Rock and Roll for my negligence.)

17. Fox on the Run (from Anomaly) Unlike "2000 Man" or the one coming up a little further in the countdown, I was very familiar with the original of this tune before hearing this version. But Ace brings his characteristic flair to things - nothing very surprising, but fun and perfectly acceptable. 

16. Change the World (from Anomaly) This didn't make my original list. But I found myself singing it to myself a lot, the past few days, so I've convinced myself it belongs here. It's a nice little tune. The melody is kind of the same thing as the riff for "Separate." But who cares.

15. The Acorn is Spinning (from Second Sighting) Fun instrumental track with a story, narrated by Ace in his otherworldly Bronx accent. Around the time this came out, the band Hurricane (who kind of came and went but that was another lawn-cutting cassette indelibly burned on my brain) had a song called "Baby Snakes" which followed the same sort of pattern. The two songs are not very alike musically, just the whole story-laid-over-guitar-heavy-instrumental approach, I mean.

14. Foxy and Free (from Anomaly) Not sure if Ace was going for a fox theme with Anomaly, or it's just a coincidence that this and "Fox on the Run" are on the same record. Probably just a coincidence. Kiss does that kind of stuff often. I always chuckle when I scan the track listings on an album and see "Night," (as on Crazy Nights) "Rock," (everywhere) or a fire theme (as on Animalize) jump out at me. (That last one most especially. "We have all these fire-themed tunes, what should we name the album? ANIMALIZE.") 

Anyway, this is a great riff. Ace always brings it with the opening tracks on his records.

13. Fractured III (from Trouble Walkin') While Second Sighting's "Fractured Too" is atmospheric but somewhat tough to whistle, this version adds a takeaway melody, so I like it a little better.

12. Rock Soldiers (from Frehley's Comet) The AV Club had a bit of fun at Ace's expense (not unreasonably) for being so proud of the lyrics to this one that he reproduced them in full for his memoir. But why shouldn't he be? They're ridiculous, but they're kinda perfectly ridiculous, if you know what I mean. He lets the devil know at the end in no uncertain terms that if he wants to play his satanic card game now "he's gonna play without an Ace in his deck." Hell has never been the same.

11. Space Bear (from Anomaly) I'll probably bring up my buddy Kevin in every one of these blogs; he's sort of inseparable from my Kiss appreciation. He got me this CD when it came out and swung by the bar I was running at the time. After I closed up, I locked the doors, and put it on the stereo while we drank beers and shot some pool. When we got to this song, Kevin let out a perfectly-timed "Spaaaace Beeeaarrr!" in a good approximation of Ace's cadence, and I still recall it and laugh everytime I hear it. I recommend this approach.

A swaggering instrumental. Nobody's reinventing the wheel here, but it's fun to roll and gets you where you need to go even if you didn't know you wanted to get there. This is not just me being cute. This really is like a massage for a muscle you didn't realize was so tense. There is a critical lack of things like "Space Bear" in the musical ether these days. (UPDATE: The Japanese-import version has some fun sound fx and Ace's re-creation of his manic appearance on Tom Snyder, above. "I'm the owner of the only Ssshpace Bear in captivity!")

10. Genghis Khan (from Anomaly) It's amusing to imagine a newly sober Ace reading about Genghis Khan, perhaps even pondering the Battle of Ain Jalut and why we're not all speaking Chinese today, and writing this song. But it's likely a reference to how the other guys in Kiss thought he was Mongolian when they first met him. No lyrics to speak of really except "So long, Genghis Khan, now you're gone." I'd be curious to know what (if any) the inspiration for this track is.

9. Dolls (from Frehley's Comet) Okay, so I was only 13 or so when I got into this song, and I sincerely believed it was about Ace having a doll collection. I used to wonder what dolls - G.I. Joes? Kiss dolls? Star Wars figures? Raggedy Anns? - and was charmed by the idea of this huge rock star singing to the world about how he loved his dolls and didn't care who knew it. Of course, the dolls are metaphors for pills or for chicks, or both. But I still like to think of Ace waking up, surrounded by mechanical dolls that clean up the room "so sweet-ly, neat-ly" while he takes a shower.

8. Trouble Walkin’ (from Trouble Walkin') Pretty self-explanatory. I am trouble walkin' / every mother's nightmare, riff, solo, rinse wash repeat. Whoah-oh-oh-whoah-whoah-oh-oh! OH! But fun. 10th and 11th grade would've been exponentially lamer if I hadn't had this to listen to.

Gene Colan's take on the Spaceman from Howard the Duck #14.

7. Sister (from Anomaly) This is a great rock tune. It seems from the title and the first verse to be about a girl with whom Ace's buddies think he's carrying on but then he sings Look Out! and the rest of it is more a I can't change / I can't re-arrange sort of message. Which is a bit out of step with the tone of the rest of the record, lyrically. I'm not sure what to make of it all, but the riff/ rocking is très cool.

6. Do Ya (from Trouble Walkin') This version was my first exposure to the song and consequently the original never sounds right to me. That's unfair, of course, but so it goes. Do ya do ya want the ACE? he asks us at the end. A question for the ages.

5. Fractured Quantum (from Anomaly) Just a sweet slice of guitar instrumental. Ace doesn't quite get the credit he deserves for the variety of moods and sensitivity he can bring to the table. (Of course, he also wrote "Rocket Ride," so, you know. We all make our beds.)

4. Shot Full of Rock (from Trouble Walkin') I always misheard the line "Taste the hard rock candy / guaranteed to melt in your mouth." I thought he was singing "Take the hard rock challenge," like the Pepsi Challenge or something, and was always confused by the follow-up line. I like my version slightly better, but nevertheless, this is the kind of rock-ass rocker no one really makes anymore. (I originally meant to write "kick-ass rocker" but "rock-ass" seems even closer to the point, so I'm leaving it.) One of my favorite outros in the hard rock canon, right up there with King Crimson's "Lament" or Oasis's "Rock and Roll Star."

3. Outer Space (from Anomaly) Here's another one that's charting higher than I expected. It made my original list and then a few more listens catapulted it all the way to the #3 spot. 

I think it's a dig at Wendy Moore, who wrote a tell-all book about her time shooting up with the Space Ace on the Psycho Circus tour, but it doesn't have to be. It could just be about an alien who came to Earth, got sick of the place, and returned to orbit to blow it all up from space.

"This place is gonna be fried."

2. Insane (from Second Sighting) The music video is pretty shameless. Slutty nurses and bad behavior, and Ace looks a mess. Everyone's sure having a great time, though. I pilfered the line "I live five days to your one" for the Boat Chips tune "Slow Cooker:" "I cook two-and-a-half to your one." Sorry about that, Ace.

At any rate, it's too bad this never was a huge hit, because as riffs/ shout-along rockers go, it's one of my go-tos. And you know it's tru-oo-ue, YEAH! So LISTEN!

The top spot in our countdown is a bit of a cheat, as I'm nominating the entire solo album from 1978. If these were Kiss tunes- which I guess technically they're considered to be, though not by me - they'd push all but "Torpedo Girl" and a handful of others out of the way.

1.9 Wiped Out Ace was notorious about getting wasted and driving his car too fast. And usually crashing it. It may seem wildly irresponsible to write a badass riff-monster-slog celebrating the behavior instead of trying to atone for it (which he does on "Rock Soldiers") but this album is not about apologies or explanations. If you ever want to approximate what it feels like to be rich, 'luded/coked to the gills, and drinking tequila at 90 miles per hour with Playboy models and biker chicks on all sides without any of the consequences (or STDs) this is the one to crank.

1.8 I’m in Need of Love So turn me on. Pretty to the point. I'll always have a soft spot for this one. I once got to an ex-girlfriend's house much later than I'd said I'd be there - and more than half in the bag, I must confess - and thought it'd be a good idea to serenade her with this one from her front porch. It actually worked; she thought it was funny and totally neutralized her anger. Thanks, Ace! (I passed out moments later; the anger had returned by the time I woke up.)

1.7 Rip It Out Great album opener. Ace's "I hope you suffer" line is perhaps ungracious, but hey, we've all been there.

1.6 New York Groove

It's not an Ace original, but it was Ace's one bona-fide solo hit and is probably popularly associated with him more than it is with Russ Ballard (who wrote it) or Hello (who first performed it.)

Much speculation on why 3rd and 43 is name-checked in the song. Was it where Ace met his dealer? Picked up hookers? Enjoyed a sandwich? Who knows.

Here's the Street View from Google - looks tame to me.

But Ace was a product of pre-Guiliani NYC; I'm sure it looked (and felt) much different then.

1.5 What’s On Your Mind? I mentioned when doing the album-by-album overview that "Talk To Me" was one of 2 Ace songs that should be in every teen movie ever made. This is the other one. Specifically, for a montage. Another fantastic outro on this one.

1.4 Snowblind As with "Wiped Out," not a particularly remorseful tune about getting obliviated, but so what? Along with "Mirror in the Bathroom" by the English Beat, the entire Be Here Now album by Oasis, and "Tusk" by Fleetwood Mac, probably my favorite cautionary tale (even if it's not very cautionary) of wild cocaine livin'. The riff will never leave your head, and Anton Fig's drums never sounded better. This is rock and roll, folks, and it doesn't get much better.

1.3 Fractured Mirror Whenever I hear this, I picture it at the end of a Kiss biopic, with Ed Norton (maybe Edward James Olmos) playing Ace Frehley. It's the height of their fame, power, and debauchery, and Ace is breaking down in the dressing room. Everything is in shambles, and as he tries to get it together for the encore, with the crowd thundering through the walls, he espies his fractured reflection - make-up smeared, hair caked with cocaine, fists bloodied - in the shards of mirror on the floor. This coincides with right when the guitar synth kicks in, around the 2:30 minute mark.

A bit on-the-nose, (no pun intended) but that'd be cool. If I could go back in time and convince Oliver Stone to make Kiss instead of The Doors, it'd almost be worth losing that masterpiece to see what he'd have made with the idea while at the height of his powers.

Gene and Paul, of course, will never allow a Kiss biopic to be made that they don't control and certainly not one that filters the experience through the lens of the Spaceman.

1.2 Speeding Back to My Baby As long as I live, I will consider "Speeding back to my baby / and I don't mean maybe" the greatest couplet ever written. (Right up there with Vonnegut's "When the tupelo / goes poop-a-lo / I'll come back to youp-a-lo" from Timequake) If Shakespeare had lived in a world of combustible engines, he'd have penned the same line. Fantastic production, soloing, riff, rhythm, you name it. As far as rock tunes celebrating vehicular velocity are concerned, this is right up there with "Highway Star" and "I Can't Drive 55."

And finally (drumroll, please)

1.1 Ozone Gene and Paul were (understandably, for the most part) disapproving of Ace's and Peter's hard-partying ways, and as the band realized more and more income from prepubescent fans buying their merch, Gene in particular tried to keep a tight lid on the public's knowledge of just how out of control the partying had gotten by 1978. Ace, however, didn't really give a shit. And if anyone needed proof of that, here it is. He might as well be screaming this right in Gene's face.

It might seem a little adolescent or misguided. But hey, so was Rimbaud, and he's taught the world over. As confessional odes to lewd behavior go, this is my favorite.

If this song was only an unapologetic middle finger extended to Gene, it'd be amusing but shrugworthy. (Or even a bit pathetic, like Guns 'n' Roses's "Get in the Ring," a song I nonetheless enjoy.) But it's hard to imagine how this could be more awesome. It's the opposite of subtle, and it's irresistible. One's head nods and one's fist rises in the traditional metal gesture (with pinkies extended) involuntarily when cranked. 

Proven to heal minor cuts and abrasions! Guaranteed to please! Will power your car when you run out of petrol.

Crank with abandon, and often.

~

This has been ALL YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT ACE FREHLEY'S SOLO CATALOG BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK.

This should read "Awk!" not "Ack." It seems like too much bother to fix. So, "Ack!"