Friday the 13th the Series: And Now the News

Superman has his Fortress of Solitude; I have the TV Tomb of Mystery. Dare you join me in crossing its threshold? Speak, friend, and enter. You are not imagining this.

Today's excursion:

The third episode of the second season of:

When this aired in the late 80s, it was the 2nd most popular syndicated show behind Star Trek: The Next Generation. Here's the voice-over prologue that opened the early episodes:

"Lewis Vendredi * made a deal with the devil to sell cursed antiques. But he broke the pact, and it cost him his soul. Now, his niece Micki and her cousin Ryan have inherited the store... and with it, the curse. Now they must get everything back and the real terror begins."

* For those non-French speakers in the audience, "Vendredi" is French for "Friday."

Not mentioned or pictured above is Chris Wiggins as Jack Marshak:

He's not featured in "And Now the News," so he won't factor into any of the below, but he was the scholarly father-figure of the bunch. (Think Niles from Buffy or Artie Nielson from Warehouse 13.) Eventually, Ryan (John D. LeMay) left the show and was replaced by a character named Johnny Ventura (Steve Monarque.) But that's an excursion for another afternoon.

In case you want to look at the show's imdb page, it was re-named Friday's Curse at some point, and that's how it's listed over there. It will always be Friday the 13th: The Series to me, and for what it's worth that's the name under which it's re-run on Me-TV Saturday afternoons, so someone should tell them. 

The show had no connection to the Friday the 13th film franchise, though fans of the show have a few theories as to how they tie together. (My personal favorite is that Jason's hockey mask was one of the haunted items from the store, let loose into the world for the spread of evil by Satan, Inc. Hell, it makes as much sense as anything else in the movies; considerably more, in fact.)

Each episode sank or swam according to the strength of its haunted object -

an antique radio in the case of "And Now the News" -

and the performances of its guest stars. This one does well on both counts.

Kate Trotter plays Dr. Avril Carter, caretaker of the haunted radio, and

plays Dr. Kevin Finch, head of the insane asylum / her doomed colleague.

Kate's performance is both severe and over-the-top. Which are exactly the right notes to strike when guest-starring on this series. Subtlety should be left at the door.

Other characters include the sort of folks you'd imagine in an insane asylum: the cynical orderly, the nurse who barges into a room and yells "DOCTOR!" only to be told that "DAMN IT, I'M WITH A PATIENT!" and a few different inmates, including one listed amusingly as "Hulk Maniac" in the credits. 

The way the haunted radio (which, we see ominously, has a frayed cord i.e. it's powered exclusively by Satan) works is like this: first, it broadcasts future-news related to Dr. Carter's career advancement i.e. "Dr. Carter received the Nobel Prize for her pioneering work at the insane asylum, etc." This is followed by different news related to the death of a patient at the asylum, which she then must make happen. She places the radio in the identified patient's room, where it then narrates some horrifying chain of events designed to make the patient take his or her own life rather than face them. i.e. one of the patients is afraid of fire, so the radio "breaks" the story of an out of control fire that has trapped everyone at the insane asylum, causing the patient to leap from the window in terror. Dr. Carter then collects the radio, goes back to her office, and receives an 'attagirl from Radio Satan.

Micki and Ryan get wind of the haunted radio being the property of a deceased mental patient at the asylum and go to investigate. 

They get the runaround, so Ryan decides to hop the electrified fence. "This is crazy," says Micki.

"Trust me."

He's quickly apprehended, scolded, then let loose. At which point, Micki opts for Plan B:

Which brings us to what separates Friday the 13th from the pack. Namely:

First, her name is Robey. Why civilization has not stopped everything to suss out the meaning and mystery of this is beyond me. How can we so brazenly carry on with our everyday lives while this modern-day Sphinx tasks us to solve its riddle? Second, her accent defies description; it is unlike any other accent ever recorded on television, perhaps on Planet Earth. It's inconsistent, for one. In this episode, she says "Or perhaps we could took to someone" while in others, she pronounces "talk" the way it's pronounced anywhere else in the English-speaking world. This happens every episode. Third, she carries herself as if she's a pleated trouser amongst blue jeans. Her every move and mannerism suggests such inflated self-regard that the viewer is constantly asking his or herself, "Is she, like, royalty * or something?" (With perhaps the follow-up question, "If she is... I mean, why the hell is she named "Robey?") 

* Interestingly enough, she was royalty, for a short time. She married Charles Beauclerk, Earl of Burford, in 1994; they were divorced in 2001.

It's almost as if she's an alien in human form whom we see forever experiencing human emotion for the first time. Not that she's unattractive, or that I'm writing these remarks from a "Who the hell does she think she is" perspective. It's just that after the third or fourth time you've seen her stroll across the set as if she was balancing a candle on her forehead, you find yourself yelling out questions at the tv screen.

Or at least I do. 

And fourth, as charitably as I can possibly put it, her over-acting has got to be at least half of the reason why anyone watches the show.

Both Wiggins and LeMay (and later Monarque) play to type (Wiggins very staid and proper; LeMay / Monarque, very smart-ass) Robey goes her own crazy way in every episode. Micki's actions are often unfathomable, and her reactions vary so wildly that you can't get any kind of handle on a throughline. I'm tempted to say this was a genius move on the actress' part, as it keeps the viewer glued to any scene she's in to see what crazy thing she's going to do next. Take this scene for example, where she handles the telephone as if she is trying to merge it with her face.

Was it intentional? Tough to say for sure. I'm tempted to say no, of course it wasn't, but there's little to cross-reference from her c.v. Outside of bit parts in Raw Deal and The Money Pit, Robey's acting career was pretty much limited to this show. (She is the female lead in a crazy-sounding movie entitled Play Nice (1992) but I've never seen it. It's definitely on the list, though.)

Are these Barbies?

Whatever the case, re-cast the role with just about anyone else, and you might focus on other aspects of production that are wanting (the effects, some of the plot conveniences/ silliness, etc.) But with Robey in the frame, all you can do is say "Robey? Robey?" to yourself in a stupefied tone, over and over.

Anyway, Dr. Carter is told by the radio that Dr. Finch must die, so die he does:

Shoved into "Hulk Maniac's" cell, where he's savagely beaten to death.

Micki and Ryan show up, get captured and slapped around a bit, but Dr. Carter's lack of urgency in feeding their souls to Radio Satan causes the tables to be turned.

Her attempts to reason with it elicit only her own electrocution.

Literally seconds after this radio just fried the doctor and shot both herself and Ryan across the room with lightning bolts, she approaches it and picks it up.

There's a fun little bit at the ending. Just as Micki is bemoaning the difficulties they face in tracking down all of these haunted artifacts, the radio suddenly switches on and promises a way to make everything easier for the both of them, for a price.

They hurriedly put it in the vault with the other supernatural oddities and bolt the door before it can tell them anymore. Roll credits.

The show had a great, moody theme song, easily the equal of its better-known counterpart from Tales from the Darkside. You can hear it here.

"And Now the News" was directed by Bruce Pittman and written by Richard Benner. It's a good representational example of the series: much of the plot hinges on some pretty wild coincidences, (unlocked doors, characters knowing things - like where to turn on and off the power at the insane asylum - they really shouldn't, convenient lack of security / surveillance at key points of entry, etc.) Robey acts crazy, Ryan does something stupid, and the taken-for-granted-by-everyone-in-the-cast idea of a malevolent force beyond our world that promises things to people if they perform some act of evil on its behalf but is unable to prevent Micki and Ryan from finding (and besting) its proxies. 

As well as some groovy atmosphere and memorable imagery.

Back to the shelf with you, "And Now the News." Until next time.

The Closet of Mystery is an ongoing catalog of one man's attempt to stave off the acquisition of any more impulse-buy DVDs until he can take better inventory of the ones already in his possession.

Cheers (1982 to 1993)

Collecting all the Cheers-related posts here at the Omnibus; click on the title to take you to the post and salud.

SOMETIMES YOU 

WANT TO GO...

1. Cheers: the Sam and Diane Years  

"If you start with "Give Me a Ring Sometime" (Season 1, Episode 1) and end with "I Do and Adieu (Season 5, Episode 26) you have the beginning, middle, and end of a great novel."

2. Cheers: After Diane

"The established show was still there, but it was as if it was told to pack for a trip and had to leave the more comprehensive version of itself behind. (...) If it lost a bit of its altitude, though, it never was in any danger of crashing; more importantly, it kept the brand alive and preserved the fun of the show."

3. Cheers: The Final Season

"I could watch the series finale every day. When Danson turns the bar’s lights out, it’s that rare moment in TV where it feels incredibly real and earned and sweet." - Amy Poehler

4. The Gary's Olde Towne Tavern Episodes

"The rivalry was pretty one-sided; at the time of the first Bar Wars episode, the record stood at 173-to-1 in favor of Gary. (How either bar found the time to stage 174 sporting competitions is never explained.)"

5. Frasier: The Cheers-related Episodes

"Naturally, while Cheers was still on the air nothing substantial or arc-altering was going to happen to any of the characters while appearing on another show. As Frasier wasn't bound by this, the powers that be could continue the characters' arcs in ways they couldn't before. "

and

6. To Boldly Go Where Everybody Knows Your Name

"Janeway's mission was a complete success. From that point on, Sam Malone's heart belonged to Starfleet. Witness the evolution of the character over the series from conflicted recovering alcoholic to one-dimensional womanizer: all the better to deflect his true mission as host and enabler to an increasing roster of spies from the future."

Frasier: The Cheers-related Episodes

Frasier was one hell of a show. 

I won't be examining it in any other capacity than what the title of this post describes. But in gathering together all the below I ended up watching a lot more of it than I needed to, simply because it's so enjoyable. A tad too precious at times, but it more than justified each of the dozens of Emmys it accumulated from 1993 to 2004.  

This pic below is perhaps not the most illustrative example, but it had a very easy-on-the-eyes set, as well. (More here.)

After Cheers went off the air, Frasier became the de facto reunion spot for any and all  Cheers characters. Before that, various characters popped up in all sorts of places, the most bizarre perhaps being on St. Elsewhere, when the doctors of St. Eligius pop in for a beer and are admonished by Carla and the other patrons.

The appropriately named "Cheers" from Season 3, 1985.

They also booked (as I learned for the first time only in the comments section of the "After Diane" post) a fairly sizable spot for Mickey Mouse's 60th Birthday Special, as well as a long-believed-lost Super Bowl sketch that aired just before game-time in 1983. And a very improbable infomercial for the US Treasury where "Uncle Sam Malone" encouraged people to buy US bonds.

These appearances are in addition to the ones on Cheers-related properties like:

Short-lived (January to May 1987) but Carla, Cliff, and Norm all guest-starred.

and Wings.

But the best of all the extracurricular appearances occur on Frasier. Naturally, while Cheers was still on the air nothing substantial or arc-altering was going to happen to any of the characters while appearing on another show. As Frasier wasn't bound by this, the powers that be could continue the characters' arcs in ways they couldn't before. 

(Actually, I guess the gang's appearance in "Fear of Flying" on The Simpsons was post-"One for the Road," but it was more of a (gloriously fun) cameo than anything that added to any of the characters' story arcs. Ditto for Norm's appearances on Family Guy.)

The only Cheers character not to appear on Frasier (besides Coach or Al Rosen, obviously) was Kirstie Alley. Something I stubbornly disbelieved despite confirmations of this from no less than the co-creator (David Lee, with David Angell and Peter Casey) of the show, imdb, and a host of other places. Yet my memory persisted in recalling a scene of Rebecca Howe outside Clint Black's hotel room in a random cameo. Turns out - this was a scene from Wings that somehow got transferred to the Frasier file in my head in error. (I've fired the former recordskeeper of my unconscious and taken steps to make sure he (or she) won't be misfiling any further TV memories.) 

As to why Kirstie Alley never appeared on Frasier:

"(Alley) called Lee after the concept of the spinoff was announced and coldly informed (Lee) that since she is a Scientologist and doesn't believe in psychiatry, she would be unable to appear on the program. "My response," Lee said wryly, "was I don't recall asking."

I'm guessing the Church never extended an invite to the cast to tour their LA museum.

Lilith appeared more than any other character, but I'll focus only on a couple of her appearances. They're all good (particularly the episode where she sleeps with Niles) but just trying to keep this post within reasonable parameters. 

Her second appearance, in "Adventures in Paradise" from Season 2, also features a brief cameo-gag from Diane:

Good on Shelley Long for dropping by for a one-word gag; I'm sure other actresses would have balked at such a thing. It's true that her career fizzled after leaving Cheers, so a cynical observer might say something rude. I am often just such an observer, but not me, here. She never really clicked as any other character the way she clicked as Diane, but I'm not a big fan of schadenfreude re: Shelley Long's post-Cheers career.

Before getting to the episodes, let me apologize for not giving equal airtime to the rest of the Frasier cast (and its many memorable recurring characters) in these reviews; everyone is great, just beyond my scope here. 

Let's dig on in.

That should read "The SHOW Where Sam Shows Up," but I screwed up. This is why they don't pay me the big bucks. Season 2, Episode 16. Directed by James Burrows. Written by Ken Levine and David Isaacs.

Plot: Sam Malone shows up in Seattle, ostensibly to interview for a pitching coach position with the Mariners. Turns out he's a runaway groom. Frasier helps reconcile Sam with his bride-to-be, Sheila (Tea Leoni) whereupon he discovers she's a woman he slept with a few months previous. Sam doesn't learn of this, but when it's revealed she slept with Cliff Clavin, the wedding's off for good.

Notes: Daphne's breakdown into nervous giggling and gibberish when Sam flirts with her is well-handled - Jane Leeves is a fantastic actress; I keep meaning to tune into Hot In Cleveland solely on her account - as well as Niles' reactions to it. And the reactions of both Frasier and Sam to Sheila's news about Cliff is well-handled. (Poor Cliff. Ah well. At least he finally got some. I think Cheers may have ended with him still technically a virgin.)

This is also the episode that reconciles what Frasier said about his family on Cheers (his father, a research scientist, was dead, he was an only child, etc.) with the set-up of Frasier.

Season 3, Episode 14. Directed by James Burrows. Written by Christopher Lloyd.

Plot: Diane Chambers shows up at KACL. She came to Seattle to stage her play ("Requiem and Rhapsody") only to discover she's lost her backing. Frasier agrees to back the play himself, thinking this will help heal the lingering wounds from Diane leaving him at the altar, but when he discovers her play is a thinly-veiled representation of her time at Cheers (very flattering to herself, somewhat less so to Frasier) he loses it.

Notes: Pure delight, this "Requiem and Rhapsody" business.

(Stan) "I pour beer down people's throats." (Ned) "I drink it."

"Our lives are empty. So what draws our feet here night after night?"

(in unison) "Mary-Ann..."

Someone in the comments at Ken Levine's blog asked where Frasier got all the dough he was constantly flashing around on the show. Radio personalities don't normally make a lot of money, after all, yet he's backing plays, taking impromptu trips, buying expensive wines and paintings, etc. Ken pointed out there's a certain amount of suspension of disbelief hard-wired into the sitcom format, which is answer enough, but I liked Peter Casey's: "He made a killing when he sold his house in Boston."

(Sam's finances across 11 seasons of Cheers are a lot more muddled. I assume this was what was behind the joke in "Do Not Forsake Me O'My Postman" where Cliff, going through Sam's drawers in his office and finding his checkbook, says "For a guy who's always crying poverty, Sam Malone's doing pretty well for himself.")

Shelley Long has lost none of her flair for physical comedy.

And there's genuine, earned pathos and redemption in the ending for this one. Very touching to see. I wish I could properly convey how familial all of these characters are to me, moreso than just about any other show that isn't set in outer space.

We see Diane again on Frasier, but this is the real goodbye/ reconciliation between the two characters.

Season 6, Episode 13. Directed by Pamela Fryman, Written by Rob Greenberg.

Plot: Woody and Frasier re-unite when he travels to Seattle for his cousin's wedding. (I guess that should read to his cousins's wedding, plural) They exhaust what they have in common the first night but continue making plans until both invent excuses to avoid one another.

Notes: I like the inter-titles the show uses. This one is slightly confusing to me, as I'm not sure what exactly it refers to for this story:

but I appreciate the reference just the same.

This is a light little episode. Straining for conversation with a friend with whom you used to have lots in common is something we can all relate to, but part of me wanted a little more from Woody's only appearance on the show. It does, however, give us a great last line / moment between the characters.

"Cheers."

Season 9, Episodes 1 and 2. Directed by Kelsey Grammer.

Written by Sam Johnson, Chris Marcil, and Lori Kirkland.

Plot: Frasier is torn between his happiness with Claire (Patricia Clarkson) and lingering feelings for Lana (Jean Smart.) While pondering his father's observation that he can never make it work with women, he takes a long drive and reflects on the major relationships of his life.

Nanette, Frasier's first wife, is played by Dina Waters in this episode. Later in the series, ("Caught in the Act") she's played by Laurie Metcalf.

She was first portrayed (in the Cheers ep "One Hugs, The Other Doesn't") by Emma Thompson.

Incidentally, when you see a children's performer or programming show up on a show, you can bet someone on staff just had kids. (This was driven home to me after the "Woggles" episode of Thirty Rock.)

Also incidentally, this episode totally, totally, totally should have made my list of After Diane episodes. A++.

Dina Waters is pretty entertaining in this episode.

In addition to seeing how she appears in Frasier's memory, we learn she made a lot of distracting noises when they made love. (Dina Waters delivers this line a lot better than I recount it, here.)

Notes: This is a very theatrical episode. Like "Diane's Nightmare," it's fun to see these characters as filtered through Frasier's ego/ sub-conscious. Ergo:

Loosely based (or so the internet tells me) on the play by George Bernard Shaw, this episode is a success on every level. Creative guest-turns, strong performances from all around, and a dynamite script that manages to provide new (and credible - well, at least credible-sounding to non-psychologist me) insight into a character almost 20 years old at the time of its airing. No small feat.

All of his exes, waiting outside the door. Reminds me a little of Fellini's 8½, which I'm sure was intentional.

Good turn by Rita Wilson as "the reigning champ" (as Lilith describes Frasier's Mom.) Another character first played by someone else: Nancy Marchand, aka the late Mrs. Soprano.

"I have just as much right to be here as you."
"'Here' doesn't mean the front seat."

The whole Roz and Kirby subplot always worked whenever it appeared. Handled particularly well here.

Great Line: "Neediness was the very reason it didn't work with Diane. Specifically: her need for another man."

Season 9, Episode 21. Directed by Sheldon Epps. Written by Heide Perlman

Plot: Frasier, Niles, Daphne, and Martin run into Cliff at the airport in Boston, and Cliff invites them to his retirement party.

Notes: Oh, what a treat this episode is. I've had kind of an up-and-down relationship with it over the years. Loved it when I first saw it, felt a little underwhelmed on second viewing, back to loving it on the third. I think the "loving it" is here to stay now. A great deal of the enjoyment comes from the appearance of three key background personnel of the Cheers saga:

Paul (not technically invited to the party, but he lives at the hotel where it happens, and he just happened to come down for some ice and crashed it.)

Twitchell (incidentally, his uniform is the fake uniform he and his buddy whipped up to prank Clavin in "A Diminished Rebecca and a Suspended Cliff." Nice touch.)

And Phil, who provides the line that cracks me up the most. After his toast, Cliff says "Thanks, Al."

"I'm Phil. Al's been dead for 14 years, you dumb son of a bitch."

Of all the tributes to Al Rosen, that has to be the best. (Later, Phil gets to call Cliff a dumb son of a bitch again. I crack up equally, both times, even knowing they're coming.) Phil is of course Mr. Perlman, father to both Rhea and Heide Perlman, veteran Cheers scribe and author of this episode.

Martin and Norm instantly take to one another, while Niles is horrified by everyone. This feels pretty accurate.

Season 11, Episode 9. Directed by Scott Ellis. Written by Jon Sherman.

Plot: Lilith is in town for a psychiatric conference, and Frasier reluctantly assumes his obligation to meet with her. Before he does so, he meets a woman at the coffee shop, not knowing that she is a colleague of Lilith's. From talking with him, she thinks he'd hit it off with "a friend of hers" and sets Lilith and Frasier up on a blind date for later in the evening. They each separately cancel said date, never knowing it was with the other person, and instead help the couple next door out of a loud argument. Unified however momentarily as a good team, they fall asleep while watching a movie and then say their goodbyes.

Notes: The title is great fun to any (like myself) who were around when Guns 'n' Roses were the biggest band going and not just another casualty of the Hair Metal Era. It actually works, too (Martin's pistol accidentally discharges inside the apartment, creating a trail of destruction that he, Daphne and Niles try to hide from Frasier) so extra points.

On that specific plot point, if I have a criticism of Frasier beyond its occasional too-precious-ness, it's that they did this sort of gag a little too much:

I don't mean they had characters trying to hide damage from a bullet, I mean every other episode seems to have a sequence where the comedy is derived from characters in one room hiding something from characters in another room. Or, like here, where the audience/ certain characters are in on something, and the comedy is derived from another character's not finding out about it. It's certainly not a trope exclusive to Frasier, but it always jumps out at me when I watch a lot of the show close together.

They always do it very well, so play to your strengths, I guess.

Great Lines: "We tried talking when we were married. We're better at games." And (Lilith to Frasier) "You always were one for droll hypotheticals."

Frasier and Lilith's swan song is a very understated but still touching affair. Their relationship certainly played farcically at times - always done well, just saying it went through many sitcom-sort of trials (attempted suicide, jealous ex-lovers with guns, sleeping with Niles, etc.) Here, the characters fall asleep while talking like the old friends they obviously are, and there's a real-world-weight to the goodbye at episode's end.

The end-credits sequence is Martin teaching Niles how to catch a banana, a reference to a line earlier in the story. ("You should know how to catch a banana!" "I am not having this argument again...")

~

So what did we learn about the characters from Cheers from their appearances on Frasier?

Sam: Almost got married. Again. Still proprietor of the bar/ luckiest-son-of-a-bitch-in-the-world.
Diane: After the events of "One for the Road," returned to California and worked on Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman until accidentally setting Jane Seymour's hair on fire. Working on plays, living in California.
Rebecca: Don struck it rich after he patented some kind of plumbing process/ gizmo, and he dumped Rebecca. She's hanging around the bar, apparently in limbo.
Norm: Still loves his beer. No word of how his job working for Woody went.
Woody: Had a baby with Kelly. (Leading to this exchange between Frasier and Sam: "Is he...?" "No, he's smart, he's smart!") No word on how the whole city council thing went.
Cliff: Read an article on flesh-eating bacteria and was a shut-in for a few months. ("The Show Where Sam Shows Up.") Had a mail order bride from Bosnia that he lived with for a couple of days before she returned to Eastern Europe. ("The Show Where Woody Shows Up.") Retired from the USPS and almost moved to Florida but changed his mind at the last minute. ("Cheerful Goodbyes.")
Carla: Outside of Rebecca's, definitely the saddest of all the post-Cheers fates: still waitressing, the bank foreclosed on her home, and 2 of her kids (not identified) are in jail.

Last Frasier taping, 2004.

That's a wrap on the episode-analysis-and-blathering portion of the program. Still one more post to go of Cheers accoutrements, as previously threatened promised.

One last link to Ken Levine's blog, detailing the 30th reunion of the cast. Great reading/ pics.