It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The McPoyles Episodes

I'll be spending some time with It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, one of my favorite shows, for the next few posts. Ye Dark Tower/ King's Short Fiction / Voyager readers, fear not, all those posts will materialize relatively soon. I actually started working on these Always Sunny posts in late January but didn't want to stagger them out, so I waited until they were all complete before posting any. 

For today's, let's crank the heat, break out the eczema cream and a tall glass of milk, because it's time for:

 

The McPoyles are an interesting bunch. Here's what their Wiki has to say about them: 

"Brothers Liam (Jimmi Simpson) and Ryan McPoyle (Nate Mooney) are creepy, incestuous, former elementary-school classmates of Mac and Charlie. * They have at least 14 other siblings and family members, who all sport the McPoyle unibrows, acne, and eczema. Ryan seems to have an addiction to inhaling Pledge furniture cleaner, and all the McPoyles seem to exclusively drink milk and to prefer warm, clammy conditions, which explains their constant sweaty appearance. In their last appearance it was revealed that Royal McPoyle, the pet Poconos Swallow of Pappy McPoyle (Guillermo del Toro), patriarch of the McPoyle family, lives under his top hat and attacks at his master's command."

Here's a short special feature where you get a bit of an overview of the McPoyles, but - like most of the special features of Always Sunny in general - it's more a chance for all involved to spin new webs of nonsense. So while it has little to do with the actual Liam McPoyle character, it showcases Jimmi Simpson's unique talents pretty well. 

* Don't know who Mac and Charlie are? Never seen the show? Here's the official description from the wiki: "The series follows The Gang, a group of five narcissistic underachievers: twins Dennis and Deandra "Sweet Dee" Reynolds, their friends Charlie Kelly and Ronald "Mac" McDonald, and their legal father Frank Reynolds, who run Paddy's Pub, a run-down bar in South Philadelphia. They ruin the lives of everyone they meet but barely notice."

Let's have a look at the McPoyles episodes in order of my least-to-most favorite.

9.

Season 12, episode 5. (2017)

In an homage to Making of a Murderer, Dennis is a suspect in the murder of recently cat-transitioned Maureen Ponderosa, recently engaged to Liam, onetime wife of Dennis.

Hey now! There actually are no McPoyles in this one. I didn't realize that when I put these episodes aside to watch them. This serves as a coda to the aborted Ponderosa/ McPoyle wedding, so I guess there's a connection, but yeah, no Jimmi Simpson, no Nate Mooney, no Thesy Surface. As such it's exempt from the least-to-most-favorite. (If it wasn't it'd be down there around spot #5.) This is apparently the last episode with Catherine Reitman, who while not a McPoyle, was a McPoyle-esque recurring character in her own right.

Still great fun despite its lack of McPoyles. I've never actually seen Making of a Murderer, so I can't speak to how its pastiche works or doesn't work, but given the success of the show's other pastiches, I'm sure it's fine. That brings me to my only mild objection. At the end of the episode, we learn the whole thing has been Charlie and Mac's pitch to Dennis on turning his story into a show. There's no way Charlie and Mac could have edited this together. Even allowing for some rapid improvement in moments we haven't seen, this would be too big a leap. We've seen Charlie's work. And Mac's too. ("Dick Towel!")

Perhaps it's only implied that they've just finished showing Dennis what we-the-viewer have seen when they've actually only been verbally describing it with the image on-screen as their visual prop. Even that, truth be told, seems beyond their abilities.

8.

Season 9, episode 10. (2013)

When Mac and Dennis discover their membership has been revoked at their local video store on account of Ryan and Liam taking it over, the Gang decides their various beefs around Philly need to cleared up. They invite everyone who has legitimate cause to hate them over for a Thanksgiving dinner. Things don't go as expected.

All of the Liam's-missing-eyes jokes land well.

"Let's not get into a whole thing about missing eyes and whose fault they are."

It's always fun to see the show's rich variety of guest stars and recurring characters make return appearances. It's kind of weird to see Stephen Collins among them; shortly after this episode appeared, news of the actor's sexual proclivities broke, and he's never returned to the show.

Featuring the immortal Shelly Desai and the probably-equally-immortal Mary Lynn Rajskub as Gail the Snail.

I love how literally things are taken: Charlie brings "squash and beef" to the potluck, while Dee brings an actual slate to wipe clean. Dennis, meanwhile, is focused entirely on getting their enemies to sign a peace treaty. ("Why are you always trying to get people to sign creepy documents?" Valid question for Dennis but serves the greater Thanksgiving theme quite well.)

That it all ends with the apartment in flames seems about right. ("It's a little inconvenient, but it's easier than facing our problems.") McPoyles-wise, the best stuff is at the videostore at the beginning. I love that they bought a videostore in 2013, wanting to invest in an emerging market. Easy joke, sure, but it's all about the delivery. ("We bought this bitch.")

Soundtrackwise: in addition to the always wonderful Heinz Kiessling, there's memorable application of "I Can't Wait" by Nu Shooz and "Genius of Love" by the Tom Tom Club. Blanket statement for the show - when they bring in an 80s tune, it's always the perfect choice.

7.

Season 1, episode 7. (2005)

When news of a former gym teacher getting arrested for molesting his students hits, Charlie suddenly gets nervous. Dee and Dennis conclude that Charlie may have been one of the gym teacher's victims and stage an intervention with Charlie's family. The gym teacher is being framed, though, by the McPoyles, who got the idea from a get-rich-quick scheme Charlie came up with one night when he was wasted.

The first appearance of the McPoyles is in the season one finale. The characters were still coming together. The broad strokes are there - not just for the main cast but McPoyles-wise - but some things (Charlie has a sister, never mentioned again, Dennis and Dee seem somewhat moral in some scenes, Dennis smokes, Ryan's and Liam's motivations are somewhat fathomable, etc.) seem a little off. That's a first season problem all around - though it's not much of one; each episode is still pretty strong and they knew where they wanted to get to.

"We could split it 50-50-50."

"Do you even hear what you're saying?"

Mac's subplot about not being able to believe the gym teacher could prefer any of the other boys in his class to him ("I was cute, I was energetic, I was fun! Just what exactly was this prick looking for?!") is appropriately uncomfortable. This is the first appearance of Uncle Jack, who is also appropriately uncomfortable. Uncle Jack (Andrew Friedman) makes several appearances in the show, each one crazier than the last.

Here he is getting visually excited by Charlie's pointing to where the gym teacher may have touched him on the intervention baby doll.

That the show is able to actually write a character like Uncle Jack and not have it come across as just extreme-humor for the envelope-pushing/ politically-incorrect sake is a feather in its cap. The writing on Always Sunny is very unsung, not just the jokes and the plot pay-offs and set-ups but the deft way they juggle the show's main conceit: these are characters that pathologically never learn a damn thing.

6.

Season 2, episode 9. (2005)

Charlie is outraged over Dennis smoking in the bar and teams up with Dee to engage in anti-smoking street theater. Mac, Dennis, and Frank turn Paddy's Pub into an "anything goes" bar, which goes horribly wrong thanks to drug abusers, Frank's Asian gambling friends, and the McPoyles.

Despite its many twists and turns and fork-stabbings, this episode is about competing visions for America. Or perhaps about competing visions of America when the competition is corrupted by narcissism and self-interest. No firm conclusion is reached, but there's great, crazy fun to be had in the exploration. It's also a great episode about the psychology of the Gang themselves. The real world and all political philosophy are just pieces to be fitted into their own insular insanity. Whatever the issue, the real motivation is always themselves.

Maybe there's even a further level of commentary there.

"ROCK, FLAG, AND EAA-AAAGLE!"

McPoyles-wise...

Attracted to the pub's "Anything Goes" atmosphere, they get even with Charlie for ratting them out in "Charlie Got Molested" by fork-stabbing him in the shoulder.

It occurs to me that "Charlie Work" (i.e. the crap work at the bar, and killing rats, etc.) serves the theme here, as well. A Marxist could really go to town on this episode. Beyond that, though, I love the episodes that focus on Charlie's crazy janitorial philosophies or the actual work he performs. We get a pretty straightforward glimpse here; it mutates bizarrely by the time it gets to Denim Chicken ("Charlie Kelly, King of the Rats") and season 10's "Charlie Work."

5.

Season 11, episode 7. (2016)

Liam McPoyle (not present in court due to getting pink eye in his one good eye, which got infected when Doc McPoyle poured "healing milk" over the retina) sues Bill Ponderosa for the loss of his eye and all other events during "The Maureen Ponderosa Wedding Massacre."

This episode is the one with Guillermo Del Toro mentioned way up there, who plays the McPoyle patriarch and who commands Royal to "bring me their eyes!" every so often. The whole fake trial set-up is always fun (as are the other Gang members' disastrous attempts to help as well as Dennis's attempts to get an end to paying alimony to cat-transitioning Maureen on the docket) but this is also the last (so far) appearance of The Lawyer (Brian Unger) the Gang's and especially Charlie's nemesis. 

Events of the episode leave him "defeated, disfigured, and enraged," according to the show's wiki. Another victim of the Gang's curse. I'm sure we haven't seen the last of him.

Also featuring Uncle Jack's return, now with monstrously fake hands, as well as Sgt. Al as the Judge.

"Ryan McPoyle didn't attack Liam. Royal did. And Lion was lying about Ryan attacking Liam to protect Royal from the chair. Or lethal injection. Or perhaps some sort of small bird guillotine. I wouldn't understand the physics of it. I'm not an executioner.

"I'm just the best goddamn bird lawyer in the world."

 

Charlie's sporadic bird law thing is one of the show's many ongoing delights. This isn't my favorite of its manifestations (that would likely be "The Gang Exploits the Mortgage Crisis") but anytime it appears is an occasion to be celebrated.

4.

Season 6, episode 7. (2010)

The gang gets a real scare after Dee reveals that she is pregnant and that one of the guys is the father. The news forces them to enlist the help of others (Frank, Artemis, and even the McPoyles) to recall their last hazy Halloween party to determine who it is.

Most of the humor from this one comes from the many re-tellings of the night from the various inebriated perspectives, as well as some of the things that are consistent from story to story (such as Frank's and Artemis's weird sex dramas.)

"You don't remember this conversation? Without my Mario, what am I? I'm just some weird Italian plumber. I look like an asshole."

"'I want to suck your blood!' It's Twilight time! Time for blood sucking."
"You are dressed like the Phantom of the Opera. He's not a vampire."
"He eats theater people."
"No, he doesn't."
"I think he might. He does."
"This party blows."

McPoyles-wise, they hold the key to the whole, gross mystery.

"Knock knock, dickfaces."
"You should see the look on your face. Good enough to eeeeeat..."

 

3.

Season 8, episode 3. (2012)

Dennis's ex, Maureen Ponderosa, is marrying Liam McPoyle. Dennis seizes the opportunity to stop paying alimony, but Maureen's brother Bill spikes the McPoyle milk with bath salts. The already turbulent alchemy of the expanded McPoyle kin boils over into something sinister.

A pitch-perfect zombie-horror-told-in-flashback-at-the-police-station genre parody. It reminds me a bit of the Community zombie episode, which also walks a fine line between staying just within the boundaries of in-show possibility while satisfying an impressive array of genre tropes. 

This episode could be Jimmi Simpson's high point on the series. He adds so many twists to his lines and tweaks the already considerable Liam McPoyle weirdness to new, strange levels. The bit with Ryan's disguise cracks me up. Estranged, he has to sneak into the wedding to meet with his brother. Executed correctly, jokes like this (hope I cued it to the right spot) always land with me regardless of context. As does stuff like this:

"I'll tell you what that's all about. Zombies. I seen it once before in a rat, and I seen it now in men. Once one gets a taste for its own kind, it can spread through the pack like a wildfire. Mindlessly chomping and biting at their own hinds. Nothing but the taste of flesh on their minds." 

"You know the thing about a rat? It's got life in its eyes. Black eyes like a doll's eye... don't seem to be living at all when it come at ya. Till it bites ya. And then the eyes roll over white. You don't hear nothing but the screaming and the hollering -"
"What are you doing! Are you doing the speech from Jaws?"
"...Nah" 
 "Are you doing Jaws?"

...

2.

Season 3, episode 4. (2007)

Liam, Ryan, and Margaret McPoyle take the Gang hostage at Paddy's and demand a gassed-up boat, $100k, and a Planet Hollywood reversible leather jacket. Dennis seduces Margaret, and Dee develops Stockholm Syndrome. Meanwhile Frank, hidden in the ceiling vents trying to find his last will and testament which Charlie hid up there, leaving him a map to it in his illiterate scrawl, has to find a way to free the Gang and stop the terrorists MyPoyles. 

"You think I'm bluffing? Then bluff this! Ryan, stab somebod-d-dy!
AAAAAG! What have you done? Give me the milk!"

Not much to say on this one except the usuals: Jimmi Simpson is so great, everyone is enthusiastically weird, and the whole Die Hard thing plays out enjoyably.

"Yippie ki-yay, Mister Falcon!"
('Mister Falcon' was the TV edit for 'motherfucker' in Die Hard 2. Probably still is.)

1.

Season 3, episode 2.

The Philadelphia Eagles offer a tryout to the public like "that movie with the New Kid on the Block." Dee disguises as a man to tryout alongside Dennis and Mac, while Charlie and Frank tailgate. Charlie's plan for a nice relaxing afternoon getting blackout drunk is compromised when Frank doses his beer with LSD and when the entire McPoyle clan shows up in the spot next to him. Charlie goes with the flow and breaks out Green Man, his all-green bodysuit / alter ego. Frank shoots Doyle McPoyle - who against all odds won the tryouts and was invited to practice with the Eagles - in the leg. 

"Well I'm going to trip balls!"

 "Clas-sic mistake, Frank, classic mistake."

So many great things happen this episode. All the football try-out stuff is funny - when is people who don't play football getting tackled and hit in the head with footballs not funny? - but there's all the weird stuff with the LSD (including some typically effortless comedy from Artemis) and this bit when "Donovan McNabb" shows up to give the tryouts an inspiring talk.

"Hey guys, I'm Donovan McNabb, and I play quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles. And I'm here to tell you that you can too, if you start every day with a hearty breakfast from McDonald's. Like the new sausage/egg McGriddle Value Meal, available now for a limited time for under five dollars. Remember, guys, real champs eat at McDonald's. I'm lovin' it."

"What the hell was that? Is that the guy from The Cosby Show?"
"Yeah he was married to Sondra."
"Alvin!"
(Coach): "That was not - you know what? (blows whistle)
SPRINTS! GODDAMN IT! SPRINTS"

Geoffrey Owens returns in season 7's "Frank's Pretty Woman", claiming at first to be Tiger Woods, and then, after Dee recognizes him, as actor Don Cheadle. When he was photographed at Trader Joe's bagging groceries last year I kept waiting for this (or the "Frank's Pretty Woman" scenes) to go viral. If they did. I didn't notice. Either way, I hope he returns to Always Sunny.

~

Next: Pt. 1 of my 15 Favorites.