Captain's Blog pt. 54: Assignment: Earth

This is what I'd call a derivative. Not derivative as in redundant but in the financial sense, i.e. my enjoyment of it is derived from the value of something else: in this case, the rest of the series. I include it here because it more than any other really stands out against the backdrop/ context of TOS. It's an off-key note in many ways, but it adds texture to the orchestra.

Its odd-man-out-ness is understandable as it was conceived as the pilot for an altogether different series. The Enterprise crew was only added several revisions later, where it became the last episode of Season 2. Which is why they seem so ineffective throughout; they're along for the ride on a script that wasn't built to accommodate them.

As the Captain says at one point, "I've never felt so helpless."

It's a back-door pilot, i.e. an episode of an established series that's actually a pitch for a spin-off show. Star Trek's fate was uncertain at this point and though a letter-writing campaign would result in the show's renewal for a third season, Roddenberry basically used Trek as a delivery mechanism for this idea for a new show.

So, on the night of March 28, 1968 - while Gomer involved himself in a Hungarian feud over on Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C. - a small amount of loyal viewers tuned in to see:

The title is interesting. As describing the crew of the Enterprise portion of the story, I'll go as high as 2 pts. Just because I like the matter-of-factness of it. (I picture Kirk opening a sealed order that has "Assignment: EARTH" written on it, with the appropriate musical cue. He hands the paper to Bones who says something like "Dear God in Heaven." Actually, if they wasted a good 5 minutes passing such a note around the bridge and each character got to react more than once, that would be wonderful enough for me to bump this whole episode up a good 10 pts overall.) As a story for the pilot of a proposed Gary Seven series, it possesses a similar bam-here's-the-deal-ness. So let's say 2.25 (out of 3) pts.

Guest: 3.5 out of 3 pts. Obviously, as a showcase for a whole different show, the guest stars here have to pack a lot more punch. And while they're not the most memorable guest stars Trek ever had, they're still pretty good.

Robert Lansing in particular. Laconic and a bit stuffy, he might have made a better Mission: Impossible lead than what they tried for him here. (And a Dog Star Omnibus no-prize to anyone out there who thinks of him first as "Control" from The Equalizer.) His performance has grown on me over the years.

He did the show as a favor for his old pal Roddenberry.

Even had it proved wildly popular, he made it clear he was heading back to Broadway regardless.

And so he did. Though he returned to LA to work in TV throughout the 70s and 80s.

Gary Seven is a great character/ concept. A lot of Roddenberry's non-Trek ideas aren't so interesting to me, but I'd have watched a show with this set-up and Lansing in the lead role, definitely. Someone really should resurrect this show and give it a proper shakedown cruise. Keep it in the 60s; hell, lease the Mad Men sets. (Or just adapt the set-up for MM's next season. Now that would be something. Cross-marketing at its finest.)

Teri Garr has dropped hints that filming this was an unpleasant experience. Roddenberry was apparently a real taskmaster on set and micromanaged her all the way down to her hemline. (Something Garr really hated.)

There's a whole site dedicated exclusively to this episode, by the by. Lots more behind-the-scenes stuff than we need to cover here, but suffice it to say, Teri wasn't a huge fan of Star Trek and was happy that an ongoing series never materialized.

As for Isis, the cat who is also a lady,

she was played by Victoria Vetri:

aka Angela Dorian, Playboy's Playmate of the Year for 1968. Presumably, she didn't complain about her hemline. I never made this connection before.

Also one of Rosemary's pals in Rosemary's Baby. She actually was in quite a bit of stuff, not the least of which was:

Nor did I realize she was arrested in 2010 for shooting her husband. (Guess that "Bee Girls" tagline came true for him. He survived; she served time.)

And Barbara Babcock adds to her TOS c.v. as the voice of Beta-5. It's easy to hear why she (and James Doohan) were asked to do so many voiceovers. I honestly can't imagine the original episodes without their audio performances. They're all over the series.

While I think it's cool Majel Barrett got so much voiceover work on the other shows, it's too bad Barbara was never asked back. Although perhaps she was and wasn't interested? Anyone know?

Two other audio elements of TOS I hope never get edited out/ replaced on inevitable re-packagings of the future: 1) the background chatter of stations checking in over the comm system. (Often supplied by the Genes.) and 2) the bridge noises. My DVDs have the bridge noises as audio for the menu screen: better than a meadow full of crickets.

(I really should have a separate category for audio. My spreadsheet does, but I didn't feel like coming up with new ways of saying "It's so awesome" 50 times)

Kirk and the Gang: 5 out of 10 pts. No one does a bad job or anything, just no one has all that much to do or much point to the story. They provide temporary complications. Not bad, certainly still fun. 

"Isis and Mister Spock... Approve."

Speaking of this cat:

Script / Theme: 3.5 pts. As a proof-of-concept story about how Gary Seven and Isis meet Roberta Lincoln and what they're all about, it's not bad. As a Trek story, it's not very good. (As a season finale, too! It was different in those days, sure, but still, how rude.) There's no real conflict or "assignment" going on here. Kirk and Spock are sent back in time to... witness Gary exploding the warhead? Ultimately? But they could have done that from space and easily made it look like an accident. I know they didn't expect to meet Gary Seven, but the tension is still fairly contrived. The premises of the Enterprise being there are simply not thought out.

When did Starfleet start doing firsthand-historical-observation missions? (Picard asks the same question of Rasmussen in "A Matter of Time," so apparently it was news to him in the 24th century.) I do love the little pause and dramatic delivery Shatner gives "1968" in the first Captain's Log, though.

Internal Logistics: 

Uhhh...

1 out of 3.

Visual Design: 2 of 3 pts.

Great 1960s-ness in this episode. Lots of fur coats.

Except Ms. Lincoln, but I guess she was supposed to be zany: spirited but flighty. So, you know, hippies.

Incidentally, this blonde lady with the purple fur coat and white hose appears in every street scene shot, but this was the best screencap I could get. If I were Gary Seven (or Beta-5) I'd be suspicious. Why is she casing the joint?

I like the mixing-in of so much grainy stock footage.

In olden days, mixing stock footage with tv footage meant cropping its aspect ratio from 2:35 to 1 to TV-of-the-time's 1.33 to 1. Nowadays, it would be even worse, as aspect ratios have changed.

Believe it or not, this was once useful information; it allowed you to decode the technical details on the back of Laser Discs.

like this one.

 

Gary Seven with M-5 Computer Atavachron Beta-5.

Memorability: Here's how I break it down: Personally-memorable-to-me: 4 pts. Out-there-in-the-world-memorable: 1 pt. Garden-variety-Trekker-memorable: 2 pts. Average: 2.5-ish out of 5 pts. This would probably be another one where we'd negotiate which 50 TOS episodes we were bringing with us to the frontier, and you'd say "Now, don't go sneaking in "Assignment: Earth" or anything crazy while I turn around to lift this cooler," and I'd assure you I wouldn't, then of course swap it in while you weren't looking.

Sorry about that in advance.

Total Points Awarded: 19.75