Mortgage Ads Absurdity

One feature of the social media era that has always baffled me is the industry of fake websites about fake things. Usually these things are along the bottom of any page and feature some weird or suggestive image, or some kind of rankings, then you click over and it's one of those click-here-of-next endless slideshow thing that never gets to the image you clicked over for.

I don't know what kind of ad revenue could possibly be earned by this, particularly if you never click on anything advertised or spend any money at all, but I understand internet revenue is a whole weird thing that I'll never understand. I know clicks are revenue-generating, though, somehow.

Another aspect of these things are the weird mortgage ads that never seem to line up with anything about mortgages. These things have been around for as long as I've used the internet. I remember my first Yahoo mail account, especially, there were two recurring ones: (1) One was just this odd close-up of an old man's face and ever-so-slowly he would smile. Or would he? Sometimes the ad re-set. Very odd. The text was just the standard "Homeowners can't believe this one trick under New Bush Plan" or whatever. (2) Another was from the POV of a camera that was like, sneaking up on two teenage girls doing some kind of dance like the Cartlton, and then one of them would whirl around as if busted ordering something from the dark net. Faces were blurred, everything went quick. Text: same, just "Obama homeowner". Very weird. 

I wish I had links for you, but not really: there's something really weird and The Ring-y about fake ads and things that seem to be put together by computers. Maybe it's just me.

Which leads me to today's post. My current homepage (which is just the Microsoft Edge start-up page) is, like any homepage where you simply cannot stop it from populating with narrative-framing-sites for all the usual narratives and suspects. This has been a feature of the internet age for many years, as well, and a very awful one. I try to circumvent it any way I can (hide all from this or that, constantly click "show less like this" on any "Have you stopped beating your wife yet?" or "Republicans Pounce..." sort of headline, default only to entertainment/ celebrity news (usually of the "aging beauty claps back at internet troll over sexy toned abs!" variety) and cricket. It's imperfect, but it's something. 

Anyway, without fail, there's this one LendGo mortgage ad that just baffles me. It seems to re-use the same roster of actors, so I'm sure it's all just stock art. But... there's just enough suggestion of a narrative and consistent set design to make your brain try to put together a story for it.

So let me put it out there, hell: what do you think?

To me, I think it's like you come home, and someone is in your house. What are they doing there? And then, to court. And then everything ends with Djokovic smashing an overhead into your face.

The first few make sense: obviously photoshopped eye-catcher in front of house.

Then they take a stranger turn. Is she surprised? Disbelieving? Or accusing?

Clearly worried. About missing it? About that number?

Now they're all posing on the couch. Who's this now?

Not Cate Blanchett.

Also not Cate Blanchett.

She can't believe it either. Here's where the stock photos become some kind of People's Court thing.

She looks familiar, doesn't she? Who is this?

And then the pattern breaks. WTF?

Bansai-i-i-i!

Carry on, friends.