Star Trek: The Next Generation, Season Five

The 2020 TNG Hindsightpalooza continues. Not the greatest season of TNG. Whereas last time no episode fell below a B-minus and my top ten or twelve was more or less interchangeable, this time around I count eight or nine clunkers and my top spots are fairly stratified.

26.

 

Lwxana Troi arrives onboard to announce she is marrying a man she has never met. Worf is having difficulty rearing Alexander, and Lwxana takes the boy under her wing for some creepy holodeck homeschooling.

Lxwana’s s5 showcase is a big step down from her s4 one. Another “Mister Woof” joke is the least of it. All the stuff with Alexander and the holodeck program she cooks up has some creepy undertones. Or overtones – some kind of tones, anyway.

Lots of ideas here and lots of emotions. And lots of skin, much of it Lxwana-related, if that’s your thing. It’s an uneven episode and not especially fun to watch.

A sidenote I almost didn't mention, but Susan Sackett's memoir of her days working as Gene's assistant and on TNG is worth reading. In it she mentions how after Gene's death she was basically persona non grata on the set; her TNG days were done. Is it a coincidence that Lxwana calls Troi "little one" fewer times here than she has heretofore? Deanna was Susan's middle name, given to Troi by Gene as tribute to her. I think (pure speculation) that using the the name offended Majel Barrett for that reason, so she resorted to the "little one" epithet. With Gene gone and Susan banished, perhaps she dropped this. I say all this with as little judgment as possible; the romantic entanglements of Hollywood folk (or most any folk really) are beyond my ken.

25.

 

Data saves the life of an orphaned boy who begins to emulate him.

Another not especially enjoyable one, and another to employ the the-more-power-we-use-to-escape-the-more-we’re-stuck trope.

There is a sudden head turn that Timothy does followed by quick rack focus that is just goddamn delightful. I tried to find it on YouTube for you but to no avail. I watched it a good four times in a row, laughing each time.

Doesn't do it justice.

24.

 

The Enterprise helps a far-flung eugenic human colony avoid destruction but upsets its delicate balance by ending 200 years of isolation.

A pretty boring slice of TNG. I don’t begrudge it itself. Its conclusions, though, are fairly foregone. Particularly in Trekville: this is well-trod ground.

Geordi helpfully spells out the irony of the answer lying in his visor. The fake-drama you often get with Berman-era Trek, where a technobabble problem is solved by different technobabble, is in full bloom here. My wife – not a big Trek fan – happened to overhear Geordi and Bates (Dey Young) working out the solution to the colony's stellar fragment predicament and I could see Peanuts-esque waves of irritation radiating from her head the more they talked. 

23.

 

Troi, O'Brien, and Data are possessed by entities who want control of the ship.

I can’t say this one ever particularly bothered me before, but it irked me this time around. The only thing it’s guilty of is being an uninspired retread of “By Any Other Name” and “Return to Tomorrow.” Hardly a capital crime, that, but I just kept rolling my eyes. By the time Data is picking up Picard by the throat and all the usual threats and cajoling, I was ready for it to be over. The ending – like at least one of the TOS eps aforementioned but missing the pivotal Shatner factor that renders such a thing moot - lacks sense. 

22.

 

Worf becomes paralyzed, possibly for life, and ask Riker to assist him in the Hegh'bat ceremony, a Klingon suicide ritual. Dr. Crusher consults a risk-taking researcher to save his life.

I’ve spent many years under the impression this was season five’s worst episode, but it’s more enjoyable than I remembered.

It adds a new wrinkle by making it a cultural-belief issue and not just the character-gets-paralyzed-and-cured TV trope and is better for that. Still not great. The idea of a medical replicator is problematic, at least as far as these sorts of episodes/ medical-drama-shows go, but I suppose it makes sense. If they can replicate food and objects, well, why NOT a Klingon spine? Hell, Starfleet always seems bafflingly ill-equipped to deal with any but Terran medical emergencies. If I was a Klingon (or even a Vulcan) I’d take my chances with the 3-d printer.

21.

 

After an attack on a Federation outpost, Picard is sent to locate a Bajoran terrorist with the help of Ensign Ro Laren.

I only put this one ahead of the last few because of Michelle Forbes. She (and Ro as a character) is a welcome addition to things. It’s too bad they never got her on DS9 or anywhere else. Maybe she’ll get the opportunity to join the Picard trainwreck. Fingers… crossed?

As you know, I’m not a huge fan of Bajor, the Maquis, any of that. But beyond my disinterest in such things, this is just a lousy episode. Ro acts like a sullen teenager throughout most of it, skulking in her meeting with the senior staff, rolling her eyes, pouting, etc. Is this Trek or the squad room of an 80s police movie? Other observations: (1) Why is her Bajoran earring inappropriate while Worf’s Klingon warrior sash is fine? Probably because the Bajorans are grungy New Agers and Worf’s religion is wrestling. The famed Starfleet wrestling carve-out. (2) When they beam down to the camp at the beginning, Ro whips off her jacket to put around a young urchin’s shoulders. Conveniently enough, there’s another comm badge on her undershirt. The famed Bajoran foresight. And (3) It’s all resolved much too weakly. 

Ah well. Welcome to the show, Ensign Ro.

20.

 

An alien traveling aboard the Enterprise mind-rapes Troi then invades the minds of Dr. Crusher and Commander Riker.

They lost this one in the writer’s room, or between there and the set, or between the set and somewhere. And while it doesn’t hang together as a story so well, some of the mind-invasion scenes are effectively creepy. Maybe too creepy in spots. Outside of Nemesis, this is probably the ickiest of all the Troi molestation episodes.

19.

 

An apparent historian from the 26th century visits the Enterprise while they help a planet prevent a nuclear winter.

In a career built on memorably irritating performances (which is not to say there aren’t a few memorably good ones) here’s my vote for Matt Frewer’s most irritating. Almost landed at the bottom of the list as a result, but the fact is he’s supposed to be irritating, I guess, so I can't fault him or the director for taking this approach. Doesn’t quite amp up the enjoyability factor, though, logical or not. Otherwise it’s a pretty fun idea (even if Rasmussen's plan makes no sense. Think about it: what good would, say, an iPhone be, in 1886?) I like when the "future people" aspect of the crew is contrasted against a different backdrop. 

I discovered – or rediscovered, actually, I’m pretty sure it’s the sort of thing I’d have read in a few places prior to now – the part was originally offered to Robin Williams. It’s too bad Robin could never get his schedule to match up with Trek’s, despite good faith efforts on both sides. 

Berlinghoff Rasmussen is a great name, though.

18.

 

With the help of a scientist whose son lived on Data's homeworld, the crew attempt to communicate with the Crystalline Entity.

Susan Diol (Schmullus ’ladyfriend from "Lifesigns") plays the lady flirting with Riker at the beginning. She gets almost immediately zapped by the crystalline entity. The Doctor's revenge!

What an awkward title this one is. Avatar is meant here, as someone mentions in the script, as the earthly manifestation of some heavenly fury/ entity, and someone else says it refers to Data’s stored consciousness. Such disambiguation aside, it’s the sort of thing you'd see on a progressive rock playlist; a list which admittedly has a lot of overlap with Trek titles. Still, it's awkward. So is ‘the crystalline entity.’ It and the whole Data/Lore connection never makes sense to me. Is it a sentient space tornado? They keep referring to collaborating/ communicating with it like it’s not just a tornado, but then they keep treating it like just some space weather phenomenon.

I liked all the stuff between Dr. Marr (Ellen Geer) and Data, though, sad as it was.

17.

The Enterprise is without power, trapping Picard in a turbolift with three children and others in various locations. Command of the bridge falls to a visibly inexperienced Counselor Troi.

I used to like this one a lot, and it's still not bad but skippable. Some nice moments but kind of a lot of cliches. 

At the beginning, Beverly is trying to recruit LaForge for another musical production she’s throwing, this one the Pirates of Penzance. I believe this is the first indication we get of the senior staff’s predilection for Gilbert and Sullivan. Anachronistic? Who knows? Things go in and out of style with no rhyme nor reason. I always enjoy when Trek references our shared canon and history. It’s especially appreciated these days, when smashing the past and Year-Zero-ing everyone and everything is all the (dumb) rage. Nope – give me a twenty-fourth century that still appreciates - or even recognizes it's of the same continuum and smashing-the-past is a disingenuous exercise for fools - Mozart and Gilbert and Sullivan and Shakespeare, please. 

I think everything from here on down in the list is pretty solid.

16.

 

Wesley visits the Enterprise and finds the crew addicted to a mind-altering computer game.

Wesley Crusher’s finest hour? It’s either here or in his other s4 appearance. His hair deserves special accolades here, though.

How effortlessly great is Ashley Judd as Robin Lefler? Definitely a character designed for something bigger, but the actress’ career went in a different direction obviously. 

Some other thoughts: (1) All the “Oh!” face close-ups of people playing the game didn’t have to happen. (2) Troi’s similarly innuendo-laden chocolate confessional is kind of over the top. (3) Data’s back and forth with Wesley about his days at the Academy made me wonder: didn’t Data make any friends at the Academy? No Boothby memories for him? They should (somehow) do a Data at Starfleet Academy series. And (4) Is Picard’s “A.F.” (the initials he carved on a tree on campus) ever mentioned again? They had a perfect chance to do so in Wesley's other s4 appearance, still to come, but didn't.

15.

 

The Enterprise rescues a Borg survivor, whom Geordi names Hugh. Picard plans to upload a destructive computer virus to Hugh so the virus will spread throughout the collective when Hugh is sent back.

A good episode but robbed of its punch ever so slightly by subsequent Borg plotlines. Can’t hold that too much against the story, though. But knowing that the same poison-the-Borg scheme will be debated along military and ethical lines again and again and that Borg-personhood will be explored so much further on Voyager makes it harder to see how this one might have felt upon original release.

I say “might” only because I only saw it years and years later on DVD, after First Contact and Voyager. I can’t speak to how it may have felt in 1992. Although - this aired in May 1992 so the penultimate month of my high school years - I kind of remember cable-flipping and seeing part of it. But a dim memory. I only ever watched it properly in 2002-2003, when my then-girlfriend made me (not that I needed much persuasion) watch TNG start-to-finish. 

14.

 

Worf tries to be a father to his son, Alexander, while the Enterprise helps to test a new propulsion technology.

Not much about the soliton wave makes sense to me. Is it worth getting into? Definitely! But let’s skip it for now. Suffice to say, I’m not sure what they say about really adds up with what we see here or what we know about warp efficiency ratings. (Well, “know,” but we “know” a lot at this point.) Mostly though it’s a crude fit for the symbolic-conflict of the other story, i.e. Worf’s sudden adjustment to being a father.

Along those lines, is there anything we see in that we haven’t seen in a thousand other TV shows? Nah, just this time with Klingons. But just the same it’s satisfying to see Worf and Alexander play out this time-honored arc. 

The ending bit where he saves Alexander in the fiery muppet-zoo could have been used as one of the fake-series clips from Galaxy Quest. There's something archetypal, here, about cheesy TV sci-fi.

13.

 

Picard forces himself to resist the charms of a female empathic metamorph who is sent to marry an alien leader as a peace offering.

Jean Grey and Professor Xavier, together again for the first time! And how.

It almost never needs to be said, but Patrick Stewart gives a great performance here, wrestling with the impossible situation. It reminds me of Hornblower, actually, and the Duchess. Whichever book that’s from, I can’t recall offhand. (No class struggle issues here, of course  – except peripherally – unlike Hornblower.) 

I love the scene between Stewart and Tim O’Connor at the end. I also love Riker’s “If anyone needs me I’ll be in holodeck four” line (hope he locked the door) as well as the “I am for you” recall of “That Which Survives.” Too bad there couldn’t be an explicit connection between the Kalandans and Kriosians. I’ve turned into that kind of Trekkie in my advancing years, mapping out the different races in post-it notes on my office wall and crudely connecting them with string and crayons. 

12. and 11.

 

Spock is reported to have defected to the Romulans. Picard and Data travel to Romulus in a cloaked Klingon vessel to investigate. Spock is reported to have defected to the Romulans. Picard and Data travel to Romulus in a cloaked Klingon vessel to investigate.

Well I ordered the novelization of this two-parter by Jeri Taylor and was looking forward to reading it in time for this post. But it has yet to arrive. Whether that’s a result of the riots, the Covid, or just media mail’s elastic window of delivery, who knows. Bummer, though.
I used to really love this story. I still really like it, but some of the bloom's off the vine. 

As mentioned elsewhere and often, I was not watching TNG regularly by this point (1991-1992), but I sure as heck tuned in for Spock turning up, so I do have memories of seeing this contemporaneously.  Seeing Sarek’s end and most especially that wonderful mind-meld between Picard and Spock at story’s end hit me then and hits me now. I’d say that mind-meld, most especially Spock’s reaction to it, is probably in my top three or four moments in all Trek. Of course, a thousand other moments had to exist in order for such an ending to resonate as it does. Great stuff, though, then and now.  

“Curious that I should hear him so clearly now that he is dead.” Say it loud, say it clear.

The scene between Data and Spock reminds me of an old idea I’ve always wanted to see: Data, having mastered humanity, decides to master the nuances of being Vulcan, and takes a job at the Vulcan Science Academy. Murders and hi-jinks ensue, yadda yadda, whatever you need. That would’ve made a good four or five hour TV event circa Y2K-ish. 

Anyway this time around certain aspects of the plot struck me as slightly implausible, right down to the idea of Vulcan and Romulus seeking some kind of unification to begin with. A cessation of hostilities and intrigue, sure, but to unite? A lot’s changed since “Balance of Terror." The Romulans have been well-established as a devious but cautious race, supporting actions through proxies (“Redemption”) and KGB-style internal security (“The Defector.”) But here Sela et al are launching an invasion of Vulcan? What? It’s an Octopussy plot, FFS. Did they think they'd establish some kind of fait d'accompli? Also, what purpose does taking over Vulcan actually serve?

It’s funny how for all the times the Romulans are used in TNG you never see or hear of any of these Remans. (Nemesis, amirite?)

10.

 

A child's imaginary playmate takes on a physical form and threatens the well-being of the Enterprise.

Hey now – this one took me by surprise. What a great episode. The cast practically has the week off, so there’s a sort of “Assignment: Earth” feel to it, maybe, but it’s a cool idea and plays out well.

The amount of energy balls which penetrate the shields and evade the sensors and end up possessing a crew member (sometimes many of them at a time) and/or ship should give Starfleet engineers serious cause for concern.

9.

 

The Klingon Civil War comes to a conclusion.

I love that seeds are planted here that will not come to fruition until the end of DS9. Gowron, like Tomalak on the Romulan side or Gul Dukat on the Cardassian, provided a solid through-line for all Klingon stories of the TNG/DS9 era. Good to see Kurn again, too.

What are we to make of the continuing problems Data has being treated as a Starfleet officer? If everyone was going to be like this, why did they even matriculate and commission him? A little of this would have been fine, but this is the third or fourth time we see this sort of thing. I can’t prove it, but I bet it has something to do with the egg on Starfleet’s face from the whole Norman/ “I, Mudd” incident. #NeverAgain

Great ending. Of course, Worf’s back in his old job, no questions asked. If it was Harry Kim they would’ve found a way to demote him.

8.

 

Wesley is questioned over a Starfleet Academy flight training accident.

Another one I enjoyed much more than I remembered. I always liked it fine, just somehow downgraded it in memory. It perhaps feels a bit retrograde for the Trekverse. But only a bit. Good performances all around, including a particularly effective turn from Wil Wheaton. Apparently it just took both actor and character to get a little breathing space in order to be used properly. I like his scenes with Gates McFadden, with Stewart, with Bobby Duncan McNeil, with everyone. 

I also like Ray Walston’s Boothby. Who doesn’t? Someone out there probably has an irrational hatred of Boothby. Give it time, they’ll make themselves known. I like how he subtly puts Picard on the right path, both by focusing his attention on Tom Paris Locarno and giving him the association of cadets/ campus life/ senior class hi-jinks. They sure laid a lot of underexploited background for a Starfleet Academy Picard series.

Did Ensign Hajar show up anywhere else? (Guess not, Trek-wise anyway.) Two last things: (1) The doors at the Academy (or at least Wesley’s dorm room) are old school doors. And (2) The flag is at half-mast (for Josh) in all the outside shots. Nice touch.

7.

 

A space probe creates a telepathic tether to Picard and causes him to experience, in twenty-five minutes, a lifetime as a married man on a world that was destroyed a millennium ago.

“Concept wonkiness” is something several episodes of s5 have in common. At least four of the next several episodes, this one included, have a concept that doesn’t work on a deeper level; a few questions here or there and you really have to scratch your head. For example, at some point in the gestation of this idea, someone had to say “okay, but if the Kataani can do all this, couldn’t they figure out how to either solve their problem or travel to another world?” * And someone had to say “We’re just going to shrug that one off; let’s go for it.” And hell, I’m glad they did. I love “The Inner Light.” The lifetime-in-one-episode conceit and Patrick Stewart’s interactions with everyone on the planet, including the always reliable Richard Riehle as Batai, and Stewart's real-life son Daniel (also named Batai) are both wonderful. 

* They kind of cover for this in a Jor-El-only-had-time-to-prepare-the-one-craft sort of way. Although WE see (x) inquiring over several years about both rockets and the drought, it doesn’t necessarily mean the planet itself experienced it all this way. They’ve programmed all the NPCs to act, by necessity, somewhat evasive about their fate, perhaps, and are of course writing the program with a certain amount of hindsight and two minutes to midnight from their fate. 

Does it deteriorate ever so slightly on repeat watchings? Not on a fundamental level, no, but for me, yeah just a little. The aging make-up isn’t great. Picard looks a little silly, really. Better than “The Deadly Years,” maybe, if that’s the bar to clear.

6.

 

The crew's memories are mysteriously erased. They soon discover that they are being manipulated into taking part in a war.

If it was an eyebrow-raiser for the Kataani to accomplish what they did in "The Inner Light" it’s downright impossible for MacDuff to perpetrate his elaborate scheme here in "Conundrum". Like Riker says at the end, with all the power at his command, why did he need the Enterprise to begin with? If Picard and Riker had slow-turned to look directly into the camera before the credits rolled, it'd have been fine with me.

The only reasonable answer to that question is “He didn’t.” But a better question is: who cares? Man, I love this episode. I’m kind of a sucker for this whole set-up where characters forget who they are and we see different dynamics come to the fore or in-jokes played. And adding in this other mystery where we’re marginally one step ahead of the cast as they put it together, is very satisfying.

Long story short, in the words of the great Jack Kirby, who cares, just buy it!

5.

 

Riker falls in love with an androgynous alien during their efforts to rescue others of the same race who were trapped in "null space".

At one point in time I thought this episode was a cringer. It felt like TNG was trying to explore too many sides of an issue and not getting anywhere, one of those heart-in-the-right-place-but-nah circumstances. I realize now, though, that this is the episode’s strength. 

The ending is certainly not satisfying, nor is it supposed to be. It’s a tragic episode, really, which makes it a bit ahead of its time; the tragedy of it all is front and center to 2020 eyes.
I appreciate that things aren’t tied up neatly, and that there are things beyond Starfleet’s / Riker’s control. I also appreciate that Worf barely hesitated in helping his friend stage a completely un-Prime-Directive commando mission. Seemed somewhat un-Worf-like, actually. He must really love Riker.

4.

 

A 500-year-old artifact is uncovered on Earth: Data's severed head. The Enterprise investigates alien involvement in Earth's past and Data fulfills his destiny.

What a great set-up. I’ll save most of my thoughts on this until next time. Love this one, though, especially the eerie stuff at the end in the cave.

Data’s time in San Francisco is played off against audience memories of Kirk and Spock in depression-era New York City, to great effect. 

I don’t think they ever fleshed out, exactly, who Guinan really is or what her relationship with Picard prior to the show/ after this episode was. That’s too bad. (Another missed opportunity of Generations. Did that movie do anything right?) 

Time's arrow is, by the by, an actual thing. I'd never really looked it over prior to now. Interesting stuff.

3.

 

Picard must learn to communicate with an alien captain who speaks in metaphors before a dangerous beast kills them both.

Here’s another concept-wonkiness one. But a very fondly remembered episode for good reasons: it’s got the heart and soul of TNG in every frame, here. Whether it’s Picard’s wonderfully random re-telling of Gilgamesh (obviously the first thing anyone would come up with in such a circumstance, right? Or any circumstance. Just a normal, everyday thing to bring up.) or his re-appearance on the bridge at episode’s end where he rattles off all the right lines to the bridge crew’s immense confusion, it all just flows perfectly. 

Why is “Darmok” in the computer database as a mythological name but no stories or anything else? I’m willing to overlook the oddity of the Universal Translator not being able to effectively render the Children of Tana’s language into English. It’s like Space Basque or one of those whence-this-language mysteries or something. Okay, fine. It’s a strange idea, though, isn’t it? Almost as strange as the idea of language itself, perhaps.

2.

 

A transporter accident traps Geordi and Ensign Ro out of phase with normal space. While the others plan their funeral, Geordi and Ro must find a way to reverse the process and save the Enterprise from destruction.

“What am I, a blind ghost with clothes?”

I’ve always loved this one. As mentioned above, certain tropes always land with me; here’s another, the characters witnessing their own funerals one, hearing their friends and loved ones speak about them as they never did in life, realizing those things we realize only after people are beyond reach forever. It’s touching to hear Data speak of Geordi and I love the Riker/ Ro stuff, too. 

I love the whole set-up and Data’s sudden grasp of everything at the wake. Everything works – except, of course, that the concept makes little sense. It’s a cool idea, but they play kind of loose with the rules. The Romulan goes flying through the wall of the ship? How is he walking around? How are any of them walking? The bottom of your feet remain unphased? The concept is rather selectively applied. 

But! Quite lovable just the same.

1.

 

The Enterprise becomes stuck in a time loop but with each pass round the circuit they retain more and more memories of their own destruction.

Best pre-credits sequence ever. And then to do it again before the next commercial, and then again after that! And it works each time. Outside of Star Trek III, this is the only time I ever needed to see the Enterprise blown up. 

Data's intuitive leaps are a bit much, maybe. In "Conundrum," Troi tells Data that chess is a game of intuition. It isn't, that I can see, but perhaps thinking about it created a new subroutine in his positronic brain, allowing him to make such leaps. That aside, kind of perfect from top to bottom, with great performances. And Captain Frasier to boot. Speaking of Trek-ideas, there has to be some get-you-up-to-speed Academy or planet or starbase such time-travelers go to. Perhaps Captain Bateson could join Gillian from The Voyage Home and maybe even Rasmussen and Mark Twain.

~

Some leftover screencaps:

 

 

Live fast and prosper, friends.