Top 50 Shatner Moments in Trek, pt. 1: 50 - 41

Like a lot of people, I watch Star Trek for plenty of reasons. One of those reasons? The enduring dynamism of William Shatner's performance as James Tiberius Kirk. 

As mentioned here: "People have been talking about Shatner's portrayal of Captain Kirk for several decades with no end in sight. A performance with that kind of longevity isn't an accident. Each generation seems to get even more of a kick out of it than the last. I'm not here to tell you the guy's career has been unfairly evaluated, (but) let's just get this out of the way up front: if your list of Greatest Marriages of Actor and Role does not include Shatner-to-Kirk, you're doing it wrong."

So say we all.

What follows below with another 4 posts to follow is neither an exhaustive attempt to explain the Shatner/Kirk alchemy (by Crom, who could) nor a definitive overview of even the 50 moments I quote. Shatner's portrayal of Kirk is the proverbial Riddle of the Mystery's Enigma. Nevertheless, I thought it'd be fun to make a list of every last Great Shatner Moment and rank them according to my own equally-pointless-to-quantify criteria. Mainly: which have cracked me up the most over the years and which moments/ deliveries would simply not be as effective if rendered by any other actor, living or dead.

Not included: monologues (with one unavoidable exception, way up there in the Top 5). I think the above holds true for any of the big Kirk monologues in TOS or beyond ("Risk...", "Maybe we can't stroll to the music of the lute...", so many more), but I wanted to concentrate more on moments: explosive or improbable cadence, unreasonable emphasis, over the top agony, facial expressions that transform the television frame into a window unto a new dimension. 

Also missing from the below (I realized only after it was done): anything from Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. And I kind of stick by that; the weird thing about that movie is that while Shatner certainly brings his A-game, even the more extravagant gestures ("Double dumb ass on you!" "Haven't you got any got any goddamn feelings about that?" etc.) are comedy rooted in the script/ character. Which is another way of saying that while no actor could be Captain Kirk in that movie, many could deliver the same lines in the context of that troupe/ script and get them across in the same way. That sudden-off-the-charts-spike that I'm referring to as some kind of "Shatnerism" is absent. 

Not so with the below. Very very much not so.

One last thing: I wish I could have uploaded audiovisual examples of each and every entry, but alas. I offer this in a next-time-you-watch-give-a-listen/keep-a-look-out spirit. Let us begin!

50. 

Kirk Takes a Swing at Lava Rock Monster

"The Savage Curtain"

All right, technically I'm getting started with something that immediately contradicts what I just wrote - any old schmo could achieve absurdist-wtf immortality by trying to punch a creature made of molten rock. I mean, the guy literally just formed from lava and rock right in front of them. I don't begrudge the Captain either his overconfidence or his brashness, but I mean, FFS, you're trying to knock a rock unconscious. This is three-dimensional chess ridiculousness here - the more you think about it, the further into the trap you fall.

And that's why it's leading things off; that sentence is the closest I can get to any kind of mission statement, here. 

49.

"Uhurayou'retheonlyonewhocandoit" 

"Mirror Mirror"

Great line? Not in the slightest. I mean, it's a nice enough moment between Kirk and Uhura and all, but we're here because of Shatner's line delivery. When you watch TOS enough (say, every episode a hundred times or more, with your favorites maybe a thousand) you start to identify and organize Shatner's various line deliveries. This one falls into that words-all-tumbling-out-over-one-another-without-an-ounce-of-doubt-or-self-consciousness category. 

Subtle, almost inconsequential, blink-and-you'll-miss-it stuff. But if caught, I think you'll agree: this is essential Shatner line delivery. As is:

48.

"One more move..."

"and I'll break it!"

"All Our Yesterdays"

I'd like to resurrect my dead buddy Klum for even more reasons than I watch Star Trek. But among them: his uncanny impersonation of this line. He hit the beat perfectly. Another easy-to-miss Shatner delivery that is a quiet wonder. I don't know what the algebraic equation of his line delivery would be, but the part after the equals sign would be in ALL CAPS.

47.

Pose in doorway 

"Wolf in the Fold"

Whether or not this was due to Shatner or the director doesn't matter. The director (or at the very least the AD) very well may have blocked the scene, although on a television series set, especially for a show like TOS where they went through almost as many directors as episodes, it was common for the actors to insist on their own blocking. (There's one memorable case of Shatner being overruled in this area, which we'll get there: it's in the countdown as well.) 

At any rate, while giving chase to the sound of a woman screaming, Kirk pauses to heroically pose in the doorway. Shatner executes this with such quick and effortless gusto that it earned a spot in our countdown. 

46.

"Relax and enjoy yourself..."

"Wolf in the Fold"

And while we're here, in the scene that immediately precedes the one above, Kirk dispatches Scotty off with the doomed dancing girl by delivering this line in such a bizarre-drawl-y way. Shatner's accent is sometimes funny ("sabotaage") - would this be an example of Montreal's in the mid-20th-century? I don't know. I do know that the way he delivers this line stuck in my mind enough where I had to make it the leitmotif of a 4-track sound collage (since lost, unfortunately * ) to dislodge it, lest the resonant feedback from its echoing around my skull vibrate it to smithereens. This is a Shatner mind-bomb we're talking here; I wasn't taking any chances. 

* If you picture something like this but with the accompanying dialogue being a heavily-sequenced and slowed-down "We won't leave without you, Scotty. Relax and enjoy yourself (enjoy yourself) (enjoy yourself)" rather than the electro-shock therapy lines in that link - and stretched out to 10 minutes or so - that was more or less it. 

45.

"Who did it... and why?"

"There was a Federation colony on this planet - IT WAS DESTROYED!"

"STOP THE TORTURE!"

"Day of the Dove"

A three-way tie, here, showcasing one of the over-the-toppier episodes from the series. Each deserves mention, but this episode is an embarrassment of such riches. And one of the few where Kirk is out-Shatner-ed by Walter Koenig. 

But! That's a whole different list. Here, these are rather self-explanatory, but a shout-out to the middle one, above, where Shatner explodes. This is the vocal equivalent of switching from the high speed lane to the exit ramp in one deft, dangerous maneuver. 

44.

"Too close, may be a trap, let's move out." 

"Operation: Annihilate!"

Trust me on this one. Next time you watch. Comes right around the time they first discover the neural parasites. 

43.

"You're killing her-r-r-r!" 

"The Gamesters of Triskelion"

One of Shatner's most ridiculous memorable cut-to-commercial howls. 

Oh, we'll be back to you, "Gamesters." We'll be back.

42.

"Penny-ante Operator" et al.

"Piece of the Action" 

This is more of a catch-all post for all of Shatner's antics this episode. I wouldn't point to it the way I'd point to something like "The Paradise Syndrome" when trying to explain the essence of the Kirk/Shatner gestalt, but it's a signal flare to say the least.

As with 45 up there, Kirk's "Hang on a minute - hang on a minute" while trying to herd the Iotians into cooperation under the laissez-faire banner of the Federation is, like that "Relax and enjoy yourself" up there, representational of a certain nasaly-drawl Shatner sometimes brought to his line delivery. 

41.

ATTACK OF THE KILLER P's

(Parallel, Paradise, Planet, etc.)

If there is a hallmark to any Shatner impersonation - at least the ones I rate as competent or better, and this guy reigns supreme - it's the conspicuous pause before a word that begins with "P" and his compressing his lips together so tightly that the word explodes outward, like a shotgun blast, once released.

So many examples... but it's enough just to point it out. Someone should make a definitive list. The next time I do a complete TOS re-watch, I'm on it. Until then, this'll have to do. 

~

Oh we're just getting started! Tune in tomorrow for the next ten moments of this glorious joyride through glory itself!