11.11.2016

Oasis


I spend a lot of time in this blog exploring things I enjoyed in the 80s. I never set out to do that, it just kind of happened. Today I'd like to look at my favorite band for the second half of the 90s and many years after:


Here's all you need to know to get through this blog:

- Oasis was a rock band active from 1991 to 2009. This corresponds almost exactly to when I graduated high school and when I started dating my eventual wife.
- They hit it big in the USA but were much bigger in the UK and Europe. 
- The two mainstays were Noel and Liam Gallagher. In the early days Noel wrote all their songs, but their later albums have contributions from everyone in the band, particularly Gem Archer (formerly of Heavy Stereo), Andy (formerly of Hurricane #1) and Liam (author of an astonishing body of quotable remarks.)  

I'm not going to get into any more biographical detail or music scene context than that. Instead, I'll do my usual schtick: Favorites, Ranked Least-to-Most shtick with pretend-math to back it up and lots of biographical asides.

Let's start with some of that. My near-constant companion in the 90s was my dearly departed friend Klum, subject of a few blogs round these parts

And many more to come, I'm sure.

His Oasis fandom was legendary. Klum and I were living in Dayton in the mid-to-late-90s and were probably the city's biggest Oasis fans. I got him into the band, so I guess this means at one time I was Dayton, Ohio's biggest Oasis fan, but it didn't take long for me to fall into a distant second place

It was Klum who got all the CD singles and the albums on vinyl and all the special editions of Q or Mojo, it was Klum who broke every bit of Oasis news to me from 1996 to the band's break-up in 2009, and it was Klum who sent me CD-Rs of Beady Eye and Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds with exactly-reproduced album covers before I even realized they'd come out. You get the picture.


Just wanted to explain why I decided to name this 

For me, the two topics are indivisible.

Quick housekeeping: I'm including the B-sides for each album's singles as part of that album. This led to some interesting statistical anomalies which I'll save til after the countdown, but it helps explain why three of my favorite Oasis albums take the last 3 spots. Of course, they're all favorites.

Ready? Let's roll.

7.
HEATHEN CHEMISTRY
(2002)

It opens with the one-two punch of "The Hindu Times" and "Force of Nature," two of my all-time favorite Oasis/rock-and-roll-in-general songs, and then breaks into Gem's "Hung in a Bad Place," the soundtrack to the best Victoria's Secret ad ever made

That opening drumbeat of "Force of Nature" was originally meant to be a sample of "Nightclubbing" by Iggy Pop, but apparently there was some kind of hold-up or they wanted too much money, so Noel looked up the model of drum machine used for the original recording and went and bought one. Nice workaround.

And "Songbird" and "She Is Love" are great tracks, as well. That's five great tracks out of eleven - not bad. It shakes out where it does here on account of its B-sides. 



Oasis was known for the quality and variety of its B-sides in an era where the concept of singles/ A-sides-and-B-sides was anachronistic. By the time of Heathen Chemistry, though, the B-sides were thinning out.

Some of them (like "Thank You for the Good Times") are decent, but the rest - "Just Getting Older" (sounds like REO Speedwagon's "I Can't Fight This Feeling" run through a Noel Gallagher Simulator to me), "Idler's Dream", "Shout It Out Loud" - don't do much for me. The only other B-side ("(You've Got) The Heart of a Star") goes on way too long. If Noel had ended it after that unexpected little accordion/bagpipe sounding melody - it should be synched up here - it'd be classic. Unfortunately it does not, and it all gets a bit tedious.

Let me get this out of the way, too - for some schlep like me to nitpick Noel's songwriting is the height of ridiculousness. That said, Noel can sometimes linger too long at the party with some of his tunes; practically every one of them could be shorter. "(You've Got) The Heart of a Star" is a good example of this. 

Also a good example of his predilection for parentheses. Sometimes they add something to the title, such as "(Probably) All in the Mind." That suggests a double read, or ambiguity. Not so much with "(You've Got) The Heart of a Star; (what's the) point of the parentheses around "You've Got?"

(I Mean) Really.

6.
DIG OUT YOUR SOUL
(2008)

Oasis's last album is a damn strong affair. If you told me it was their best, I really couldn't argue. It's fantastic. 

My favorite tune is probably "The Shock of the Lightning" or Gem's "To Be Where There's Life." Or perhaps "Waiting for the Rapture," which hits some listeners' ears as being too derivative of "Five To One" by The Doors. And while I can understand thinking of the Doors tune when you hear this one, the bass/drum combo supposedly being swiped is not the sort of thing anyone can lay authorship claim to. It's like trying to copyright the key of E or something.

That said, "(Get Off Your) High Horse Lady" is probably a little too much like Tommy Tucker's "Hi-Heel Sneakers" even if the chords are totally different. The chords are more like "Honey Pie" from The Beatles. Maybe. It brings the Beatles to mind for me more than Tommy Tucker is all I'm saying. Cool tune any way you slice it. (Again with) the parentheses, though.

As for the B-sides: 
 



They're not bad, just there's only three of them. The best of them is probably "I Believe In All," for my money, although "Boy with the Blues" has a nice production sound that brings to mind Alone with Everybody-era Richard Ashbury. (i.e. awesome.) Space Klum says:

"It's Mega!!" His favorite track from this one was Liam's "I'm Outta Time." Whenever I play Oasis, I usually say something like "Here you go, you ghost-faced Bastard..." and I just muttered that out loud here at my work-desk.  Probably sounds ominous to my co-workers. Let them wonder!

5.
DON'T BELIEVE THE TRUTH 
(2005)

This album really has no business being as good as it is. It comes charging out of the gate with "Turn Up the Sun," which has a nice Doves-y quality to it. That works for me because I love those guys

Then comes "Mucky Fingers." I've been working on this blog off and on for a few weeks and I think every day I've been doing it I've listened to this track. It's risen from a 4.5 star to a 5 star on my spreadsheet as a result. Which actually effs up these rankings, but I'm going to conveniently overlook that rather than re-work anything.

What an unsung tune, though. Jesus, we're an ungrateful goddamn species. Noel used to be a lazy lyric writer in my opinion, but somewhere around Heathen Chemistry he turned a corner. This one to me is just damn great. Chapeau to Dave Sardy of Barkmarket for the production. (Remind me to tell you stories of out-all-night rides home listening to Barkmarket sometime.)

Then comes "Lyla", and I always think Liam's singing "She's the queen of all ice cream" instead of what he actually sings ("she's the queen of all I've seen"). What a fist-pumpingly awesome bit of Oasis here. And then after three awesome tracks, the cheeky bastards throw four more of their very best work at the listener ("The Importance of Being Idle," "The Meaning of Soul,""Guess God Thinks I'm Abel," and "Part of the Queue") before ending with three not-so-stellar tracks. Who cares, though, when your first eight tracks are as good as this? Don't Believe the Truth is Oasis' Brave New World

As for the B-sides...

I included both "Lord Don't Slow Me Down" and "Who Put the Weight of the World in this album-era. Not bad tracks. The former's kind of a Frankenstein's Monster of previous Oasis tracks, but that's fine by me. For the latter, I mean, there's only so much wriggle room Noel has with this sort of song. By this point in Oasis' career, he might have already covered this terrain pretty exhaustively.

Two B-side gems, though: "Eyeball Tickler" (more songs about cocaine!) and "Pass Me Down the Wine."  


4.
STANDING ON THE SHOULDER OF GIANTS
(2000)

"Is it any wonder why princes and kings 
are clowns that caper in their sawdust rings?"  

The above lyrics, from the album's first single "Go Let It Out," prompted no shortage of speculation from Oasis fans at the time. It was such an un-Noel lyric. Surely he had to crib it from somewhere? When asked in an interview he laughed and admitted he had, but from a public domain poem written by a 19th century American, Robert Lee Sharpe. Which then raised the question, uh, Noel, what the hell are you doing reading 19th century American poetry? I can't seem to find this exchange but I recall his answer was something like he'd been given the book of poems for Christmas by a relative, "a what do you get the man who has everything sort of thing." That always cracks me up.

It's also a great line. "Go Let It Out" is great populist rock and roll all around. During the live version on Familiar to Millions, a (likely inebriated) Liam sings it "that are like you and moi" for the "ordinary people that are like you and me" part, really dragging out the moi in his sneering fashion. Good stuff. 

For some reason people don't rate this album as one of their best. I think it's because of the circumstances around it - this was their transitional record between the old line-up (Guigsy and Bonehead) and the new (Gem and Andy.) Not me, though. There are some clunkers ("Put Yer Money Where Your Mouth Is," "I Can See a Liar," "Roll It Over) but the rest is damn strong. Non-Oasis fans might recognize the opener as Brad Pitt's boxing intro music from Snatch.

The night this came out, Klum had a listening party (of sorts) at his place (of sorts) and then I drove home through a snowstorm and cranked it again. It was probably a night I should not have been driving, but when I hit "Gas Panic!" on side 2 in the thick of that nor-easter on Rte 295, it was Top 5 Epic Driving Moments of my life.


B-Side Report:

Of the six B-sides to choose from, three are fine but not personal faves (their version of "Helter Skelter," and two Noel originals, "One Way Road" and "Carry Us All," which is more or less a less successful version of "Flashbax") -

"'Flashbax'?!" interjects Space Klum. "That's my favorite!"
"I know but wait until we get to Be Here -."
"McMOLO!" (sound of drum set turning over followed by mad cackling and chain-rattling)

and the remaining three ("Let's All Make Believe" - somewhat appropos this week in the USA - "(As Long As They've Got) Cigarettes in Hell" - great song but again with the parentheticals! - and "Full On," another song about cocaine. But what a track! This is back when Noel shrugged off writing second verses for songs and just repeated the first. Who cares, though - are huge faves.


3.
(WHAT'S THE STORY) MORNING GLORY?
(1995)

Speaking of parentheticals... I love how there's a question mark at the end of "Morning Glory?" That is pure grammar confusion. Without the parenthetial, it's not a question, so why put it in parentheses and keep the damn question mark? I'm convinced this sort of thing cracks up Noel to no end and that's why we see it. Noel's given hundreds of interviews; I'm sure the answer's back there somewhere. If not, something to ask him at the next big party at Paul Weller's house. I'm sure my invite's on its way.

As a stand-alone album, this is probably my least favorite Oasis record, despite having two of my favorite songs by them ("Morning Glory" and "She's Electric.")

Here is a picture of your humble narrator engaged in a "Morning Glory" singalong at my buddy Umaar's going away party. One of his many going away parties; his middle name is "Aloha." We were having a great time. Klum's there in spirit.

The real strength of this album/era is the B-sides:


"Bonehead's Bank Holiday" - which Klum and I sang at the top of our lungs one night after shutting down the bar, prompting an angry exchange with our neighbor, an otherwise very nice redheaded girl whom Klum might have berated as "Strawberry Shortcake" during said tirade. The next day we felt bad and bought her a bottle of wine and she was really cool about it. Later still, Klum banged her, I think. Hey it happens, kids. Sooner or later Klum banged everybody. That's probably still true in the Great Beyond. - "Rockin' Chair," "Round Are Way," "Step Out," and head and shoulders above them all, "Headshrinker," among the fiercest vocals Liam ever recorded.


2.
BE HERE NOW
(1997)

Commonly known as Oasis' "cocaine album" - i.e. the one where there was too much money, too many drugs, and too much fame - Be Here Now is actually a pretty great record. (I'm kind of an apologist for cocaine records - Fleetwood Mac's Tusk, AC/DC's Flick of the Switch, any of Sabbath's multiple cocaine albums, etc.) Sure every song ends with two or three minutes of unnecessary swirly feedback and there are some clunkers ("Magic Pie," "Stand By Me," "All Around the World," though some fans consider these all-time classic Oasic tunes and more power to them/ you / everyone.) But the title track is great ("Wrap up cold when it's warm outside / your shit jokes remind me of Digsy's"), and "The Girl with the Dirty Shirt" is underrated.

The real magic, though? You guessed it: 

The B-Sides

"The Fame" - ("blowing through you like a hur!i!cane!") - "(I Got) The Fever" - do I even need to say it? The other parenthetical curiosity this time around is the last track of the Be Here Now album, "It's Getting Better (Man!)". That one cracks me up - "Going Nowhere," and two exceptional covers of Bowie's "Heroes" and "Street Fighting Man" by the Stones. All of these tunes (maybe not "It's Getting Better (Man!)" deserve hyperlinks, but I don't want to overload you. (Too late, most likely.)

And yes, Space Klum - "Flashbax." Which incidentally has now taken on new meaning since he caught the last train out. This whole album/ era, though, was when we were living in Dayton and living and breathing Oasis for so much of it. When I want a solid blast of Klum (gross) I'll throw on Be Here Now. That was true even when he was corporeal. 

And finally: 

1.
DEFINITELY MAYBE 
(1994) 

The high ranking for this was determined mostly by my love of the B-sides, but there's no arguing this is one hell of a classic rock album of the 90s or any decade. Some tunes (like "Shakermaker" or even "Rock and Roll Star," though if Klum saw me write that he'd be blowing up my phone with all-caps profanity) haven't aged as well as some of the others ("Columbia," "Supersonic," or my personal favorite off the record, "Digsy's Diner." That song just puts a smile on my face. I have no idea what "lasagnaaaaaaa" refers to; I'm just going to assume drugs

And the album ends with "Married with Children," a perfect ending note for this collection of songs. Noel and the gang are very good with album-side-order. And album-order in general. Each album of Oasis' career makes perfect sense as a follow-up to the previous, and Definitely Maybe is a sensibly reckless debut for the band they'd become. I think once he referred to somebody's fourth album as a "great fourth album, specifically." I love rock-think like that, and I do the same sort of thing when trying to figure out a band's discography. Of course, in the old days when it usually took a band a couple of studio-supported albums to find its sound, that used to mean something different than it does now.


"I hate the way that you're so sarcastic
and you're not very bright
You think that everything you've done's fantastic -
Your music's shite
 it keeps me up all night, up all night..."


One of the tracks, "Up in the Sky" was also recorded as an acoustic version for one of the B-sides. I may prefer it. I've been going back and forth on this since the 90s and I don't see it ending anytime soon. 

Other B-sides of this era that I've yet to get sick of: "D'yer Wanna Be a Spaceman," "Listen Up," and "Fade Away." That last one was later re-recorded with Kate Moss and Johnny Depp joining Noel in the studio. Just another day in the life. The original Liam-vocal version is the superior version, though, by far. 

"Dream it while you can /
maybe someday I'll make you understand
."

Also contributing to Definitely Maybe's taking the top spot are the "Whatever" single with its great B-sides "Half a World Away" and "(It's Good) To Be Free". I'm also including some of the other non-album tracks from around this time, like "Let Forever Be", Noel's collaboration with the Chemical Brothers, or Liam's and Noel's contributions to the Songs of The Jam tribute album ("Carnation" and "To Be Someone", respectively.) 

Chronologically speaking, it's totally incorrect to group these last three songs together in the Definitely Maybe era; they all came out in 1999. But they'll always be associated with Definitely Maybe for me, as I had them on the same mix tape. Completely arbitrary, I agree - like everything else in this post. Or life in general.

~
There you have it. Dear God I hope no one tried to click on every one of those links, but hey, as of Armistice Day 2016, they're all active and there when you need them. Go forth and preach the gospel. Before I call it a day, here are some special treats as derived from the spreadsheet I created for this post. (Methodology: I assigned a rating of 0-5 points for each song on each album/ era. I also added a Klum Factor Rating of plus or minus a point here and there - the kind of personal touch that distinguishes Dog Star Omnibus from all competition!)  

The above rankings were how everything shook out by adding the album's total and its b-sides totals together. 

Album with the highest average of 4-star-plus songs - Don't Believe the Truth
Album with the highest Klum Factor - Be Here Now
Singles-era with the highest average of 4-star-plus songs - Also Be Here Now
Favorite Gem song - Either "Hung in a Bad Place" or "To Be Where Life Is".
Favorite Andy song - "Step Into My World." Too bad that was for Hurricane #1 and not Oasis. I linked to it above, but here it is again. I love that track.
Favorite Liam song - "Songbird" or "Soldier On". Maybe "Pass Me Down the Wine." Maybe "Love Like a Bomb."
Favorite B-side - Much tougher. Almost all of my favorite Oasis tunes are their B-sides. I've linked to most of them above. My least favorite B-side is probably "Idler's Dream."
Favorite cover song NME says it's "I Am the Walrus," and while that's a charmingly unhinged cover of that classic, I'm going to have to go with "Heroes." 

And finally:

Favorite song to hear Klum sing in his Arnold Schwarzennegar voice: "Stay Young." And man, the lyrics never survived the attempt, nor stayed in the PG or even PG-13 (or even NC-17) range. They are far too controversial to reproduce here, or probably anywhere. But awesomely funny. Much like the man himself. (The awesomely funny part, at least.)

Here's to you, Oasis. And to you, Spaceghost Klum - you'all always live forever in these tunes for me personally. Hope you enjoyed all the Oasis talk and that hyperlinks work wherever you are. (The internet in general, I guess.) 

~
Klum's wearing the Oasis shirt I got him from the Tour of Brotherly Love here. Also pictured: Mike Haeflinger - go download his new stuff, it's free, and he's great.

8 comments:

  1. (1) I was a fan of the first couple of Oasis albums, but tuned out after that. Not because I disliked anything they'd done, but just in the normal course of the fact one cannot be into everything. I'd hear tidbits about them over the years, such as the fractious nature of the Gallaghers' relationship, and Liam's near-superheroic testiness. But I actually had no idea the band had totally broken up.

    (2) "Force of Nature" -- Never heard this one; very solid. Seems like the chorus is primed and ready to be used in a vampire movie. I'd have probably never picked up on it on my own, but I can totally hear the "Nightclubbing" influence.

    (3) Knowing when to end a song is one of the unsung hallmarks that distinguishes the genius rock star from the merely talented. If I dig a song melody or hooks or whatever, I'll forgive it for staying late at the party, but sometimes it really does hurt.

    (4) Here's how I know that Dog Star Omnibus truly is a blog for me: I've been bothered for YEARS by the unnecessary parentheses that musicians sometimes use in song titles. As you point out, why? Do they simply not understand what parentheses are used for? That's almost certainly it; they're too busy getting drunk and receiving fellatio for such things, and I can't say they're on the wrong side of the equation.

    (5) "Waiting for the Rapture" -- Great song, and it's got a quality that I really dig in a rock song: it just builds and builds and builds. I'd never heard this before, either. I don't agree that it's too derivative of "Five to One." Similar beat, but otherwise not particularly similar at all.

    (6) "(Get Off Your) High Horse Lady" -- Those parentheses are all I see. What's with the weird foley effects at the end? I agree that it's reminiscent of the blues song you linked to, but it's different enough that it doesn't bother me any. Either way, great song.

    (7) "(Again with) the parentheses" would have been a fitting title for this post.

    (8) As we've discussed before, I simply can't understand somebody claiming to be a hardcore fan of any band without developing an obsession with their b-sides. What I'd say to them is: you're a tourist, baby; you ain't no resident.

    (9) I know very little by Doves, but I dig what I've heard.

    (10) "Mucky Fingers" -- At this point, I think it will be easier for me to specify the tracks that I actually HAVE heard. This is not one of them. This song reminds me of something; whatever it is, it's awesome. Somebody at the end of this ought to have hollered "I've got blisters on me fingers!"

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  2. (11) "Lyla" -- Good tune; a little grating in some way I can't put my finger on, but good. I approve of some of the women they've invited to that party in the video. They learned nothing about properly parenthizing song title that night, I assure you.

    (12) "Eyeball Tickler" -- Bunuel's favorite Oasis song. And why not? It's great! I'm always amazed at how something this good ends up as a b-side. Hence the obsession with b-sides.

    (13) "Pass Me Down the Wine" -- Ditto.

    (14) "Go Let It Out" -- That anecdote about the lyrics is priceless. It's funny to think of a rock star so rocked out that he's experienced EVERYTHING, and has to turn to reading poetry. This song reminds me something; but, again, it's something great, whatever it is.

    (15) If "Standing on the Shoulders of Giants" marked a transition from one formation of the band to the other, I don't hear it. Granted, I'm a tourist; but this song sounds definitively like Oasis to my unpracticed ears. Some fans can't handle change; if U2 ever gets rid of Adam and Larry (unthinkable!), I will be in the same boat.

    (16) "Fucking in the Bushes" -- ROCK

    (17) "Gas Panic!" -- Can't hear it without picturing a dude driving through treacherous conditions, sort of zen with it all in the face of all the rock. Another great song. You have single-handedly prompted me to re-categorize Oasis mentally from good band to great band.

    (18) "Let's All Make Believe" -- Apropos indeed. And when you're having to take relationship advice from Oasis, shit has gotten bad. And again: this was a fucking b-side?!?

    (19) "Cigarettes in Hell" -- I just refuse to type the first part of that title. This one is a bit languid for my tastes, but it's not bad. THIS is what I think of when I think "good b-side material."

    (20) "Full On" -- For a lot of bands, this would not only be their leadoff single (if such things still exist), but likely the pinnacle of their career.

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  3. (21) "Morning Glory" -- That photo appears to have been taken in the midst of a grand old time. Love it! As for the song, hey, I've heard this one. And the album. "She's Electric" is genius.

    (22) "Bonehead's Bank Holiday" -- I can see how this would be impossible NOT to sing late at night while drinking, and I can also see why a neighbor would have a no-tolerance policy in that regard.

    (23) "Headshrinker" -- Solid, but this is another one that does sort of sound like a b-side to me.

    (24) "Be Here Now" -- This song is simultaneously laid-back and furious; a curious combination, but it totally works. I think I'd actually heard this one before.

    (25) "The Fame" -- Good stuff. Question: who do prefer as vocalist, Noel or Liam? Based on the evidence presented, I lean toward Liam, but not strongly; they both fit the band like a glove.

    (26) "Street Fighting Man" -- I'm not wild about this, but I almost always enjoy hearing one band cover another, even if I'm iffy on the actual results. It's just an interesting process to me.

    (27) "Flashbax" -- I'd say these things arguably matter more now than ever. Deeply good stuff here. How in God's name could this merely have been a b-side?

    (28) "Digsy's Diner" -- I remember not thinking much of this song off what I thought was mostly a GREAT album. Hearing it again now, I don't know why I thought that. I never knew he was saying "lasagna"; I didn't know what the fuck he was saying.

    (29) "Married With Children" -- No arguing with this one. "Your music's shite, it keeps me up all nite." Until now, I never knew he was saying "shite." I didn't encounter that word until "Trainspotting," so I just didn't get what he was saying at all. Ah, learning! Great. It all falls into place now.

    (30) "Up in the Sky" -- Tough call. I think I will tentatively go with the acoustic version.

    (31) "Fade Away" -- A direct violation of Buddy Holly's directives, but I'll allow it on account of it being a terrific song.

    (32) "Let Forever Be" -- I've always felt like I should know more about The Chemical Brothers, and this does nothing to dissuade me from that.

    (33) "Carnation" and "To Be Someone" -- I've never heard the originals, but I like these versions a lot.

    (34) Gotta ask: no mention of "Wonderwall" or "Champagne Supernova"? There's a story there.

    (35) "Heroes" -- Can't top the Bowie version even if you're Peter Gabriel, but this one is an admirable attempt.

    (36) "Stay Young" -- I can kind of imagine Schwarzenegger singing this, somehow.

    Great post! Lots of pleasurable Saturday-afternoon-before-work listening.

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  4. Bryant, I commend you on an excellent navigation of the Aharon Klum Invitational. I believe your score will be the one to beat.

    (Glad to) Hear I'm not (Alone) on that (Parentheses) Thing. Jesus. "They're almost getting fealltio and don't care." Agreed. Makes me wish they had an English-major manager or something who could reason with them in between the theatrics.

    "Gas Panic!" is something else, as was that drive home. I wish I had a dashboard cam that captured all of that. I referred to it as The Death Drive for many years. I think I and my car punctured some kind of ion storm mirror universe and never made it back, sometimes. Thanks a lot, Oasis.

    Oh, I love "Wonderwall" and "Champagne Supernova." No story there, I'm afraid, I just figured I'd emphasize some of the other ones.

    Thanks as always for digging into this at the level you do. I'm happy to hear some of these tunes that are my own faves seemed to hit you the same way.

    The Chemical Brothers are hit or miss with me. "Let Forever Be" is probably the only one of theirs I truly love. And that's almost certainly on account of Noel.

    I have been asking myself which vocalist I prefer since the 90s, Noel or Liam. I think Noel, kind of - and I prefer High Flying Birds to Beady Eye, though both have some cool tunes, for sure - mainly because Liam's is like a buzzsaw. I love it and all, and it's perfect for those old rock numbers, but it's like Axl Rose's or something - kind of a specialized-to-one-situation affair.

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    1. I feel like I had a strong performance. I had a good game plan, and the execution was on par with expectations, so all in all, I think I played a good game today. Something-something-joke-about-problems-in-the-secondary-and-special-teams, et cetera.

      "I think I and my car punctured some kind of ion storm mirror universe and never made it back, sometimes." -- I mean, like, you can't rule it all the way out, can you?

      Based on my fairly limited knowledge, Liam's vocals can be grating at times. But mostly, not. What he's doing is a sort of high-wire act where he seems to be permanently at risk of tipping over from cool-as-fuck into grating-as-hell. Mostly, I think he stays on the wire.

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  5. p.s. Nice Bunuel joke - took me a minute! As for this: "They learned nothing about properly parenthizing song title that night, I assure you."

    That would make kind of a funny featurette or something, tracking down all these ex-girlfriends or ex-flings and asking them only about the parentheses aspect of the band. I bet one out of a hundred might have some piece of critical info heretofore unknown to add.

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  6. p.p.s. Not sure what happened here "They're almost getting fealltio and don't care." but that's not a) a quote of what you wrote, or b) even coherent.

    I'll chalk it up to some kind of Oasis ghost in the matrix.

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    1. I think I like yours better. If there's anything more rock and roll than getting blowjobs backstage, it MIGHT be having gotten so many blowjobs backstage that you're all like, "Ugh, AGAIN?!? I need to concentrate on where these parentheses go."

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